help, someone spiked my drink.. with bacon

So me & the grip were putzing around online the other night before going to see Choke (which is awesome btw, I’m behind in writing the review) and I’m not sure how exactly this got brought up, but I felt a need to share this with the class… He said that a trip to Vegas may be in order so he could take me to a bar that has this, & claims it to be deliciousness.

oye.

bacon infused martinis?!

omg.. and this is *not* a joke?

w.t.f.

btw, inc you really want to try this, here’s the recipe:

Bacon Vodka

makes up one pint

Fry up three strips of bacon.
Add cooked bacon to a clean pint sized mason jar. Trim the ends of the bacon if they are too tall to fit in the jar. Or you could go hog wild and just pile in a bunch of fried up bacon scraps. Optional: add crushed black peppercorns.
Fill the jar up with vodka. Cap and place in a dark cupboard for at least three weeks. That’s right- I didn’t refrigerate it.
At the end of the three week resting period, place the bacon vodka in the freezer to solidify the fats. Strain out the fats through a coffee filter to yield a clear filtered pale yellow bacon vodka.

Decant into decorative bottles and enjoy.

In celebration

Of my new job back in the video game industry…

and a drama free boy who will hold me down but not hold me back.

dun dun dun.

A couple of friends of mine decided to go out to this little bar in Burbank that hosts a teeny little function every Tuesday night the laymen calls… Pornstar Karaoke.

Yes, seriously.

On this grand night once a week, people come from near and far (some random guy that hit on me was from France) to watch some Pornstars sing karaoke… and maybe get an autograph or 3.

The crowd varies from industry “talent”, college frat boy types, fanboys, milfs, army men, and milf hunters.

Now, living in LA, celebs and pornstars aren’t really that big of a deal to me.  Hell, I’m waiting for the thing that will indeed actually phase me about this town.  I think at this point I’ve become immune to most anything that’s “out of the ordinary” already.

Midgets?  Trannies?  Grannies dressed like hipsters?

Between my rather ecentric boy and my awesometacular array of friends… I do alright for being fresh as Doug E to the LA scene.

However, last night…

I was running late to meet a couple of guy friends out at Sardy’s.  I arrived right as one got there.  There was a line outside.  This was only my second trip.  Every night I’ve gone though, has been an experience.  This was no exception.

There was a line outside for reasons unknown.  My friend (who prefers to remain off the radar a bit) has gone quite a few times

“There’s never been a line like this.  I have no idea what the fuck that’s about…”

The bar was to full capacity and the bouncers were worried about the fire code.  It took a few minutes but we got in.  Pornstars to your left, pornstars to your right.  Ah Sardo’s.  Gotta love it.

Last time we were there, I wore that corset top I had on at the last San Diego tweetup.  I was asked if I was talent and hit on by random losers who could barely make out a cohesive sentence let alone were even worthy of making out with.

We couldn’t get a table and didn’t want to stand on the sidelines.  We bee lined to the bar and found my other friend.  He’d been there about twenty minutes already.  I said 11-ish.. which really meant about 1130 safely.  For me, it took 20 to get there anyway.  Another LA acquired mentality- it’s 20 minutes to get anywhere.  I timed myself this time.  Twenty minutes exactly.

You could barely move in there.  It was a pain just getting to the bar, let alone finding a place to sit.  Finally we found a spot with a military birthday man in from Carolina and two lovely ladies.

We figured out why it was so busy.  AVN was filming something.  And, there was a legendary appearance by none other than.. you guessed it, Ron Jeremy.

A few pictures from last night’s debauchery have been added to my “Been Drinkin” set on Flickr.

I tweeted about it this morning, and a few lovely ladies want to come out next time we go.  I say, the more the merrier.  Want to go with?  Comment here or dm me on twitter.  I’d say don’t bother responding if you’re creepy, but hell.. you might just blend in there.

Mindfucking

This was going to be pretty epic tonight.  I was going to bring not just a date to a social media event, but someone I genuinely care about- two things that I haven’t done yet.  It was talked about me having a possible +1 previously, but…

This would likely have been the last tweetup I’d be able to go to down south for awhile.  Work during the week prevents my schedule from being quite as free to taking the long drive down.

I love going home.. there’s a freeing feeling that I get everytime I’m there.  However, there is also some mindfucking I could do without.  I am sick and tired of bullshit games and drama over absolutely nothing.  Fret not, I haven’t been scared off of going to the events (sorry to break it to you, you know who).  I will be attending them occassionally, but just not as frequently as I have been.

To my friends down there who are unfortunately effected by this, know this has absolutely nothing to do with you.  You are amazing and I wish I was closer.  Some days I just wish more than anything I was back home… 5 minutes away from the heart of.. my heart.  But last month’s events, and now the developments I have here…

I value my sanity and my relationship with the grip more than to tolerate the unnecessary garbage I have had to deal with when even in the same room and civil as…

I’ll see you someday soon I hope.  Maybe on a weekend we can have our own mini-tweetup and catch up.

Premptive possible correction

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, when someone asks you-

“Am I sharing you with anyone?”

would you interpret that as the person doesn’t want to share you?  See also

“So did you behave while you were gone?”

“Behave” and “Sharing” to me, means implied obligation to behave or otherwise not wander.  To me, those queries indicate a few possible factors:

• You are involved enough with said person in which you want exclusive rights to said person’s emotional or sexual persona.  It was recently argued that it is a carnal instinct to be monogamous.
• It’s a test of the relationship.

1. if the person says they are fine with sharing, they may not be available: emotionally or physically to have a monogamous relationship
2. if the person says they are not fine with it, they are declaring themselves possessive.

• It’s a test of your commitment level.  If you care about me/this relationship, you will have no problem with doing this.
• It’s a test of your trust level.  How prone are you to stray?  Will they be honest with wanting to have multiple lovers, or if “cheating” is possible, will they hide it?
• It’s to find out how secure and confident you are.  Do you get jealous at the thought of your partner being with others or can you handle them going on majorly emotionless dating/sexual escapades?
• It’s a question if your lover satisfies you sufficiently. This is a death move.  Tread carefully.

So, before I make a correction to how I perceived the situation here… I’m curious if I’m the only one that may have gotten the same idea by some of the wording I received from the grip.

Baby, if I’m wrong here, we’ll work something out as a payment of said point in LA’s favor.  Something dirty of course, so no one really loses.

So jury, what says you?  Implied monogamy?  Or is talk just cheap?

Also, I might add one last factor: while that whole “it’s ok” conversation happened, he also said

“I’d rather this then be cheated on…”

Fate rests in your hands dear readers… give me liberty or give me death?

I’m loading up on deductions

I’ve got needs, lots of them.  Yes, I need to get railed not only regular but frequent basis.  Everyday… multiple times a day.  Specifically when I’m involved.  Think you’re up for the task?

Enter my newest boy toy… he’s a cute nerdy type whose day job is a grip for Fox.  He works 12+ hours a day with some major shortage of days off during the peak season.  He doesn’t want to share me.  For a poly, this is…

So on days when the boy is working and what not, I do threaten to go off and get it elsewhere. Is it assinine?  Yes, admittedly so.

Before I left for San Francisco for example (before we became official) I told him-

“While I’m up there fucking someone else, I want you to remember… that it’s nothing to do with how I feel about you.  In fact, you should feel better about it because all it really is would be friends/sex.”

“So I should feel lucky that I’m not getting lucky… Check”

It’s no secret that I enjoy my dating and sexual romps.

A friend of mine messaged me last night and asked

“How are you temptress?”

Funny.. he had no clue that’s the latest nickname that people have given me.

I’m safe about my sex and am actually selective on whom I bed.  A friend once summed it up perfectly:

“Poly means quantity, not all.”

Something that a lot of people may not realize:  I am tantric in between lovers.  It’s probably why my sex drive is so high when I’m involved.  I do not even own a sex toy.

The grip tells me that he doesn’t want to hold me back, and that I should be free to do whatever I like.  While I know this is a guilt trip, I also remind him of the poly status.

“Don’t tell me stuff like that unless you mean it.. because I will go get it elsewhere if I don’t get it from you dear..”

“It’s a tax write-off..”

He was supposed to have the day off today.  Instead he’s helping a friend out with Deal or No Deal.   There’s a cute musician down the street from me… working remotely wondering what I’m up to.

He better get off work soon.. it’s been days and I’m rather tempted.

And

No sooner had I written that blog then I was reminded why I adore the grip so much.  I’d had a long day.  I really didn’t feel well.  I slept a majority of it.  My chest hurt and I wasn’t feeling much myself.  Quiet times.. ah isn’t it fun to think?

On days like these, I’d rather be at the beach.  Detox.  Ocean.  Peace.  But I was so sick I didn’t even feel like doing that.

He came over on his way home… just to kiss me goodnight.  He has to work in the morning.  This is the busiest season right now.  Yesterday he filmed “How I Met Your Mother.”  He worked 5am till nearly 11pm.  This is normal.

He’s also stuck working on Tuesday, so we won’t be attending the Tweetup.  Well.. I’m debating going alone anyway, but I really don’t think I should.  There’s just too many complications involved and I really don’t need any more of a headache.  It sucks because I look forward to going home and haven’t missed a tweetup in months.

“Well when I have money, I’m taking you on a date to San Diego.  We will go to a few of my favorite places, and find some new ones my dear.”

“Sounds like a date to me.  I’m taking you to the beach sometime soon.”

The beach?  I’m a sucker.  If you want a magic word, that’s right up near the top with me.  What’s that you say, you accidentally ran over my bike?  But you want to take me to the beach now… ok, I forgive you.

I only got about 15 minutes with him.  He kissed me softy and I gave him a hug.  He’d had a long day too.  I wanted him to stay longer.  But we both knew that if he came into my apartment, he’d likely be sucked in for awhile.

He asked me about going to see an Angels game this week.  Baseball and my boy…

He kissed my forehead and told me he wished I felt better- held my face in his hands and softly kissed my lips.  Simple, endearing things that show you just how a relationship is supposed to be.

And I’m thankful.  Thank you so much for those few moments with you dear.  They were the highlight of my day.

/end soapbox

for no reason

He claimed she was no one to him.

“Just a friend!  Just a friend!.. Who you’re probably jealous of.”

And admittedly I was.

Once upon a time.

In another time.

Now it’s a given that I date quite a bit.  Or rather, have dated quite a bit in the past.  It takes a lot to dazzle me.  I hadn’t found the person I was willing to be exclusive with.  I enjoy the single life far too much to be tied down with a ball and chain to someone less than extraordinary.

Once upon a time.

In another time.

I thought this man and I would one day be that exclusive couple.  But he was far too greedy as well, but wouldn’t admit it.  Our last sexual romp involved arguing about his philandering ways.

“No more. No more.”

“Yes mam'”

We pseudo parted ways.   Taking yet again another “time out” as it were.

Because that’s what you do when it’s more than just throws of passion under the sheets- however amazing as they may or may not have been.

Part of me craved that volatile relationship.

One upon a time.

In another time.

He ended up becoming official with this girl now.. who he’d claimed was only a friend.  He’d brought her to parties and functions… who did he think he was kidding by thinking everyone didn’t at least gather they had to be sleeping with each other.

She was local.  It was conveniently accessible.  He’s all about the convince.  We’ve been through this before, earlier in the year when the equivalent of his first love- someone he was previously engaged to but broke it off with.  He doesn’t pursue a challenge, or he didn’t before.

Now this current affair.  I don’t know a lot about her.  It’s not my business.  I will say this though… she seems to be amazing, talented, intelligent, funny and beautiful.  She is good for him.  They could potentially be good for each other.

So why when she was away did he so quickly have me in his bed?  Why continue this push and pull game with me?  Is it just sex?  It could very well be.  Then you add in other things…

A friend of mine and I had a falling out a bit ago.  Previously him and said friend didn’t care for each other.  Miraculously he messaged her soon after I told him that we had a falling out.  He’s quite manipulative and knows what hes doing.

Something that we had discussed since near the beginning of our courtship.. he was now talking about doing with her.  This.. girl he knew vaguely in instant messages versus me, whom he’d had a history with.

I was frustrated, but I let it go.  I let them both go.  I focused on other things.  I focused more on me.

I went down there again.  That place is home and I’m passionate about those events regardless if he’s there or not.  I went down there for my friends.  But most importantly, I went down there for me.

When I was there, I met someone that he was associated with.  Someone I’d heard of but hadn’t formerly met.  To Big, I was never interested in talking to him because you knew him at all.  It wasn’t a plot to try and make sure you were stuck dealing with me.  I just thought that person might be awesome and he is.

I didn’t approach Big at the party.  I let him be.  I didn’t want to intrude on him and his girlfriend.  I genuinely respect them.  I would like to get to know her better.  I hadn’t given her a chance before, and that was just me being a baby.

Something happened in the interim of a hug at a party to later that night.  I’m really not sure what exactly it was either.

He has since deleted me from all social networks and the one time I tried messaging him politely to find out his version of the story, I’m gathering that I was likely blocked.

I didn’t expect this to happen.  I expect little anymore.  I shouldn’t even give a care about that whole mess.  But for some reason.. I valued the friendship and time we had invested in each other.  I guess I’m just a masochist for letting it go but wishing things ended amicably.

Is it so wrong to want someone you cared about to be happy?  To walk away knowing you really did all that you could in order to make things…

Its amazing how when you let go, you realize how much you really were cheating yourself about.  Sure I’ve dated quite a few frogs.  I’ve met a few worthwhile princes.

And then I met my “princess.”

confessionizer:

i wish that i said goodbye instead of running away from our issues and text messaging you…
would things of been different? its the question I ask myself every second of the day… I MISS YOU.

Sometimes I wonder… why people do things like this.. and I think of the situation with “Big” & me.  There wasn’t a text message.  Hell, I’m not even sure what exactly transpired in the interim.  All I know, is that I did all I could do.  Most of the time I feel amazing about it.. but others, I wonder if things could have been different too.

Things with me and the grip are absolutely amazing- in that extremely cute but sickening kind of way.  It’s calming and non dramatic.  It’s this warm blanket of something so wonderful it almost feels surreal.

And yet, at the same time… it’s not chaotic.  It doesn’t feel completely challenging.  With “Big” it was this struggle of heart.  This tug of war because neither of us wanted to admit that we were powerless.

I let go.  I had the wind knocked out of me.  The drive home from home had hit me like a brick truck.  I drove in silence.  The sound of the road. The hum of the traffic. No music.  Just pavement and air.  Of puffs of cigarettes and pffff.

I need to have a beach day.  I need to run away to the one love affair that is both that volatile storm of passion and the crackling fireplace on a cold winter’s night.

I adore the grip.  I know that Big is wrong for me.  So why does this even phase me?  I think I need some ice cream and a good spanking. /calls the grip

If I was your girlfriend…

Now I adore the boy I’m seeing. Don’t get me wrong. He’s sweet and cute and funny. But there’s a few things about him that he may need some assistance with. (And I’m not talking about in the bedroom.)

No, I’m not trying to change anyone. I’m just a fashion whore.

So when he wrote me the following delirious piece this morning because he passed out last night after work, there was only one thing I could say about that..

Oh yes, I forgot to mention. My glasses got scratched. That’s not so good. I mean, sure. It means that I have an excuse to get new glasses. But now there’s a huge crack in the lens. And while I don’t have glasses that come with a different nose, I do sort of like wearing glasses. Cause it does make me a nerd. And by now I’m sure this whole paragraph makes little to no sense. Mission accomplished.

Horray! I couldn’t stand those glasses anyway. I mean.. they were fine on me. But on him? Not so much.

I told him I want him in some sort of rectangle frames, and he replied:

“You want me to look like Weezer huh?”

He wears Threadless tshirts and jeans. Although I haven’t spotted him in aviators, I’m wondering if he has them. He’s not uber GQ but he’s still cute in my mind.

So horray!  New glasses.  Hopefully before the tweetup but I doubt it.

For someone who called himself a hipster while in bed with me (you’re so lucky I didn’t just slap you then) I fail to see the problem.

That and he really needs a haircut.

I’m a pain. But at least we’re both laughing about it.  So horray!  New glasses.  Hopefully before the tweetup but I doubt it.

Dear cell provider, ty for hindering my sex life

I am about to call Tmobile to tell them that for some reason the MMS messages I’ve sent over the past week have not gone through.  Very important ones.  Ahem.

My initial reaction was to accuse said person’s cell phone network for the issue.  “Can you hear me now?”  Hear this Verizon… what the fuck is up with my man not getting his deserved nudies?

I recruited a trusted friend to try and help me out… to forward the picture to him if it went through.

Status?  Lost in cyberspace of course.

Recovering from my 3 days up nearly nonstop at Tc50, damn me if I wanted a little naughty time.  He had to work yesterday.  I persuaded him to take a late “nooner” and get over here.  He’s still working now.  Ah the joys of having a Hollywood non 9-5, 9-5 right?

Damned messages not going through.  Though I honestly doubt that it would hinder my bedroom antics… I have readily accessible cock via other means and I haven’t even looked on Craigslist.

I’d just like to take this moment though to rant about my “wonderful” service that’s supposedly the best in California.  Yeah… my ass!  Or actually.. not.  Boo!(

Maybe I really will look at joining the iprom now that I have it sitting there calling my name.  I’m just worried about the minutes.. which heh, if I didn’t have would just hinder my sex life xs 2.

The big M talk.. is coming

Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 6:42 PM

They should have been here 30 minutes ago.  They should be here any minute.  I hope they are.  I’m anxious to get started on the road…
I think of you.  Half worried, half…
Is it wrong to say that I know that I’ll miss you when I’m gone?  That I hope that you’re better and yet…
I worry.
I don’t know why.  You don’t give me any reason to think that.
Perhaps I’m just protective.  Perhaps I’m just being silly.
Fuck. perhaps they’re here.
I know I can’t ask you.. but I’m just.. I’ll see you when I get back right?

I can’t wait for our next adventure.  Hugs. Kisses.
My dear my dear who steals my heart… please don’t make it a slushie…
unless i can sip it with u through a straw & then skip rocks on the ocean with the chunks.

So I get back from my trip and see the grip.  He has written me 2 letters while I was gone.   The Angels clenched the AL West.  Woot!  I have a stack of emails to still write, but the first person on my list of people to see besides my roommate is my boy.

There’s a huge difference for a poly girl with just going out and having sex for the enjoyment of it, versus that certain someone which suddenly everything means that much more.  While I was in SF I had some really.. well, being single has its advantages.  I enjoy the dating scene.  I love my polyamorous lifestyle.  Deep down a part of me is wondering when that person who will dazzle me will come along.

I’m picky about everything that goes in or on me.  Food.  Clothes.  Shoes.  Men.  Women.  All of the above.  It takes a lot to really impress me.  Beyond some great sex, this years Romeos have never hit the mark… no, not even “Big.” And so continues the cycle of dating.. of stories of failed romances and laughing and..

Why is it that when you find someone amazing, others seem to pop out of the woodwork?  Maybe this is just me being poly (greedy) but what’s wrong with wanting to date them all?  Why does one *have* to choose?

I asked him if he behaved while I was gone.  He told me he was too busy working and planning elaborate dates with me than to be after someone else.  I believe him.  I’m hypocritical in that I prefer him not to be poly as well… although honestly it wouldn’t bother me if he was.

The big m word was brought up.  The dreaded word to any poly.. Mon..og..a..

Gag.

But if I have to make a choice…

How do I tell the most amazing guy that I’m just a greedy bastard without… well, sounding like I’m a greedy (unsatisfied) bastard?