3 days of unplugging

Day 3.. (well, technically 4 now since I couldn’t get on yesterday like I’d originally intended…) offline. And while yes, I feen to get on the digital infomation highway, I’m somehow alright. Dare I even say that being unplugged feels a bit nice at that. Particularly for what I’d escaped it for.

It’s a big week in LA, and moving only added to the frenzy.

Two of my supposed friends bailed, and it was just me and my new roommate loading up and packing the Uhaul. It was semi last minute. With the events last week, I hadn’t been able to pack much beforehand.

One nerd. One midget. (In California someone under 5 ft tall technically qualifies as handicapped… I’m 4’11”) Loading a truck. It took hours. Most of it was little things. Only a few heavy pieces.

It was actually his 30th birthday. And he spent it helping me. I feel incredibly blessed that I have such amazing people in my life.

“This only makes me feel old you know?”
“Wait a couple of days before you say that.”

At about 4am, we finally headed out. Thankfully, It was only a 45 minute drive to my new place. We stopped for some gatorade, some smokes and an ice cream sandwich.

“I thought you said you were freezing?”
“I am. But damnit I still want some ice cream!”
“Weirdo.”

I hopped in the Uhaul. The seat wouldn’t move up that far, and I could barely touch the pedals. I saw it could top out at 100. Oh I wanted to find out if it could get there. But I held back.

I was wide awake. My roommate was wiped. Miraculously, I found a spot right in front of our apartment. He headed to bed. I did some homework and then forced myself to sleep.

Sunday we unloaded. It went by alot quicker. I was feening for technology and the ocean. And, nothing against my roommate, but I wanted out of the apartment for the night. It’s a sea of boxes and my gtd is long enough without having to add that to it. I was supposed to go to the Kotaku pre E3 party with some other friends. But that was in a few hours.

We dropped off the Uhaul and grabbed some sushi. The friend of mine texted me that she was busy prepping for E3, so she semi cancelled. I was still considering going anyway.

We went home. He wanted to take some tylenol and nap. I popped online for a few minutes, thinking I may make a mohito and crash out too. My bed is super comfortable. My back was sick of the couch.

And then a touch of serendipity happened. I know quite a few gamers, and a few of them are also journalists. One of them being a very yummy “dark horse” whom I’ve kept missing anytime we were in the same area. I was at the same party as he was about 2 years ago in San Francisco. Still missed.

With E3 happening, I figured he may be in town. And since I’m officially an LA resident, it would be even more so possible to bump into eachother. And it finally happened. Just a few hours after arriving- I had a ___.

I felt a little bad about leaving my roommate. But this was something that had been building up for a long time. And considering it was a weekend, and a Sunday at that, I didn’t think that I’d be able to catch the person I needed for the interview for the article I was trying to write. I’d try to on Monday, if I was able to get online– moving shannigans have taken a majority of my time during the day, and, as I said, I’ve had limited net access.

“What would you want to do?”
“I don’t know. It’s your vacation.”
“It’s work and it’s your city madam. What do you usually do?”
“Well, I usually play video games and hang out at the beach with friends. Mostly social media events lately. So…”

I messaged my best friend and told her he was coming by, admittedly a bit giddy with anticipation. She is my confessional.

“Orly? What’s he look like? Link?”

I linked her his facebook.

“Well… he’s definately your type Jena..”
“Shut up wife. He’s adorable. I can’t help it you have no taste besides AJ.”
“I hate you. But at least it’s not ___.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me wife…”

Yes, thousands of miles away, not even able to see me, and I was caught. We know eachother far too well.

“Love you too.”

He cabbed out to my place- we were going to grab some food and then catch Hellboy 2. In all of the pictures I’d seen of him, he was with people we knew mutually. I thought that he was shorter. I guess I didn’t realize how gigantic that the other people I knew were.

I am pleased to say, he looked MUCH better in person. He is a giant. Oh, how I enjoy tall men. Mmhmm. And Jamie was right. He was sooo my type. We had a couple of smokes outside. I apologized for the mess inside my apartment.

“I literally moved in today.”

I think he thought I was halfway kidding.

“Wow.. holy crap…”

We checked the movie times and walked down to a local Thai restaurant I’d gone to with my roommate a couple of nights prior.

Amazing conversation. Tons of stories. Bobas. Sweet and sour shrimp. My kids got brought up somehow in conversation. I generally make a point not to talk about them with potential lovers. Not that I am ashamed of them or anything, but because it’s a sensitive thing that I honestly don’t think is anything that they need to worry about. So many single mothers are just looking for some paycheck to take care of their children. That stigma disgusts me.

“They don’t live with me obviously.”

But then he shocked me.

“Wait, so we don’t get to talk about your kids?”

Who the hell are you, and where did you come from. And the fact that he’s younger struck me as even odder that not only did he not have a problem with it, but he genuinely did want to hear about them. I was blushing.

“You’re adorable. Now tell me..”

So I told him some nerdy stories about my oldest son.

“He was playing Pacman one day when I called him. He was telling me about how he was going to die… and how he was going to get the chomper. I could hear the music in the background. And then my son screams “I pwnd him mommy. Pwnd Pwnd Pwnd!”

We laughed. We’re both such nerds.

“That’s got to be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

I blushed again. More conversation. Got the check and headed towards the movie theatre. It was a nice night for a walk. San Diego style weather. We got our tickets and sat down. There weren’t many people in there. We sat at the end, near the top. It would have been more cozy, however, it seemed like every single person that wanted to get up and come back chose our row. And then my phone seemed to constantly be going off silently…

We talked quietly through the previews. Lame. Lame. Matrix ripoff. Yawn. I swear Hollywood.. up your game a little bit. This is disappointing.

I had a dress and a short skort under it. The theatre was a bit hot so I pulled the top up a bit. He saw the skort…

“Your body made me stupid.”

I blushed again.

“Oh shush.”
“Seriously, your pictures do not do you justice..”

We talked about the CG. All the movies it seemed were ripped off to make this one. And the inevitable romantic plotline in every action movie.

“Did you ever notice that it seems that they do that everytime. It’s disgusting. Basically it’s for those vaginas that complain they have to go to these movies with their men, and then they can go aww.”
“Yes! Indeed.”

The movie ended, but the conversation continued even more. We had a smoke and started to walk back to my place. And then that talk came about.

So in between errands I’ve had to run, and phone calls.. all the fun stuff that comes with relocating… and now a social media event I’m headed to in San Diego, we’ve been spending as much time as we can together.

He didn’t attend a couple of parties so he could spend the time with me. He was bummed when he had to go to dinner with work instead of out with me. He’s a workaholic as I’m generally attracted to.. but he appreciates me… we enjoy eachother’s company. The lack of drama is something I’m really not used to.

“You deserve it. I’ve been trying to tell you that Jena.” a friend told me.

“When do you go back? You should come to an event with me Thursday or Friday.” I told him.
“Maybe Thursday. I go back on Friday.”
“It’s sold out. I don’t know how you’d get into that one though.”
“I’m charming. We can figure it out.”

So I may have a date to Twiistup. I’m not sure. It depends on a lot of things.. specifically if I can even get a ticket for him, etc.  I still have to talk to some people to see about the official details.

I’m having a good time. Life is grand. It’s just so very busy. This week is full. Next week things should calm down a bit and I can finally get more done. The list is so long right now and it doesn’t feel like I’m making much of a dent. I can only do 1000 things at once. Please take a number- and don’t take it personally if I don’t get back to you right away. I don’t have much time for sleep, let alone much anything or anyone else. I’m sorry.

I’m looking forward to seeing everyone at the events coming up. Until then, cheers.

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What’s love got to do with it?

Seriously. A couple of my coworkers were talking today about how one of them moved in with her boyfriend.

“Are you in love?” they asked.

“Um yeah, we’ve been together 3 years.” she said.

And I was thinking… why is that an assumption so many people make? It doesn’t necessarily have to mean that. People move in with eachother for dozens of reasons. Just because you have been with someone that long, doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re in love with them. It could be a convenience thing. It could be a peer pressure thing. It could be the “well, we’ve been together this long, so might as well” thing. It could be to save money. It could be to not have to masterbate as often. (Again, convenience)… The list goes on. Or maybe I’m just honest.

“So when are you getting married?”

“In about a year, after he finishes school.”

Another assumption. I nearly choked when I heard that. Not because I’m afraid of the dreaded M word. But because once again.. 1957 crap.
Ah evolution and standstill in the dating scene. Why why why?

I wish I could get into some of the stories that I’m hearing now. I can’t. Or rather I won’t. I will say this though…

I’m not against convention completely. I just don’t care for assumptions and classification. People seem to naturally want to catagorize everything that they can.

I’m hypocritical. As much as I proclaim to being polyamorous, I really am a closet monogamist. I’m just super picky. Once I’m with someone that fits under my microscope however, I’m the most loyal, all around awesome, minimal drama and maintence girlfriend you can imagine. Granted, I still have a vagina, so um.. yeah.

Will we ever truly evolve this “oh you need to get married and have a picket fence” or you’re a loser mentality? I’ve been there. I’ve done that. It’s overrated. I doubt I’ll be doing it again… (I’m a liar- I would under the right circumstances.. ie- pirates & um, my mother in a duck suit.. etc)

Point being–the modern age, yet again.. somehow doesn’t seem very modern to me just yet.

countdown- part one

me (6/18/2008 1:54:42 PM): i have that apt regardless if i pass the credit check. i just got an email about it.
me (6/18/2008 1:55:03 PM): this could really be happening finally. /blinks
????(6/18/2008 1:55:12 PM): bout time huh?
me (6/18/2008 1:55:20 PM): yeah.. no kidding

I had the talk with my dad yesterday.  It wasn’t pretty.  I’m working on some things to further solidify the move now.  Getting the place was the most difficult part of it.  He’s very worried.  But this is none of his consern.  I tried talking to him civily about it.  He refuses to listen.

We went to a family function yesterday.  I was invisible there.

“Don’t you want to stay so you can come to more of these?”

“No dad, I can get snubbed by strangers just the same.. I’ll pass.  I’m going to go where I know I am happiest.  You are just going to have to accept it.”

In a mode of desperation, he shoves an ad for an apartment he’d seen in the Pennysaver.

“Look, this is local and cheaper.  You should call.  In fact, call right now…”

I looked at the paper. I lowered my head and looked down.  And then I caught myself.  Deja vu.  No no no no.  Not again.  I was falling for yet another guilt trip about my choices when I’m an adult and working my ass off.  I’m not wrong here.  If it’s going to be hard, its a choice that I’m accepting.  This is adulthood.  And I’m stronger than this bullshit.

I looked up at my dad and gave him back the paper.

“No, dad.  This is something amazing.  This is something I want that I’m working hard for… and I’ve prayed about it.. I’ve asked karma about this.. if it’s meant to happen now.. to let it happen.. and it’s falling into place.  I need to do this.  You need to trust me… have faith in me.. let me go.  I’ll be ok.”

In my dad’s mind, I could envision see him seeing his missing two front teeth pigtailed girl standing in front of him telling him this.  It has to be hard on him.  I know that it is.  I feel bad because deep down, my daddy is my hero.  I know he’s conserned.  That letter was extremely hard to write for me.

I wish that I could tell him all of the things that are racing through my mind in this anticipation.  I can’t.  Not yet.

And now the process of closing chapters goes further and further into place.  The journey back home.. is almost complete.  I need to tie some ends up here.. and then.. I can get started on the next chapter of my life.. ironically.. it’s where the story started a little over a year ago.  I never thought it would end there… or rather.. begin.  But life has an interesting way of turning out huh?)

/clicks heels and sets the countdown

watch out craigslist…

I got a text message from my roommate yesterday that come August, her boyfriend will be moving in… she’s not going to renew the lease and I have a heads up that I need to find something else.
Yesterday, I had a bit of an anxiety attack. It’s one thing to think about and talk about wanting to find a new place.. it’s another entirely to have to start looking for one. 2 weeks in craigslist hell last time, made me think that preparing for the inevitable might be a good idea. So I posted the following ad there…

Title- Awesome people need only apply pls

Body- Are you awesome? Drama free? Female? Non drug addict? Fun.. or at least not a complete stick in the mud? Don’t have pets or at least clean up after them? Have a place open by August 1st?

I’m a 26 female with 2 jobs that wants to go home to San Diego. I’m currently in the LA area, and my lease is up as of August. I’m a workaholic and all around computer nerd.. well I aspire to be even more so. Despite that, I’m not a square, but I’m not a big partier. I’m rarely home it seems, and when I am, I clean up after myself and park it in my room or wherever my computer or video games are.

Optimally I’d like to find a centrally located place- near the trolly and bus lines (because honestly gas is too expensive right now) with a roommate who’s responsible and down to earth. I’m pretty quirky and odd, but not a complete freak. I pay my bills on time, keep common areas clean, understand common sense and have common courtesy. I even make sure I put the toilet seat down.

So what I want is simple: a female roommate (or female roommates) that cleans up after themselves.. no drugs… no drama… I wouldn’t think that what I’m asking for is much, but I’ve found that apparently it is. I’m not looking to make a new best friend or anything, however if we got along well enough it’d be a bonus.

So if you have something available, please let me know. I want to know more about you and the area that you live in and all that fun fun stuff. Here’s who I am: http://twitter.com/Scandalous

Also I’m going to say this right now, because the last time I went looking for a roommate, people seemed to treat it like I was posting in a “different section” here..
I’m not looking for a bf/gf
No I will not trade sex for free rent
Chances are I don’t want to sleep with you or your gf (unless shes hot enough, then maybe I’ll take her)

And if you’re some perverted creepy psycho… only send me links to the good stuff… none of that fat girl spam or scat crap.. pun intended.

kk thnx bai

Ps- yes, this is a serious ad. I’ve just had problems before with spam/weirdos so I just wanted to cut through the bs a bit. Have a most splendid day.


and here’s the link to the actual ad. I figure that if I have to move anyway, I may as well start looking in an area I want to be in.. and most importantly.. the goal.. the New Years Resolution. The clock is ticking.. and I can’t wait to get home.

Wish me luck.. and please pass along any leads you have worth entertaining.  Thank you so much.

weighing possibilities…

August is going to be here fast… especially if I work the 2-3 jobs I may be. It’s got a greater purpose though.. I’m going to save and work towards having more than I did before. It’s been a long couple of years. All of my stories aren’t here of course. But scattered across the blogosphere and chats, many a tale are to be told.

My lease will be up then. I’m not sure if it’s in the beguinning or the end of the month, but it’s making me really worry. There’s just a lot on my plate. And I really am missing home lately. I’m missing Chicago. I’m missing San Diego. I like it where I am, but I’m not here completely by my choice. I want to get to that point where the choice is mine. It’s crunch time.

One of my New Years Resolutions was to move to either SF or SD. I have friends in SD that I miss quite a bit. I called SD home for 5 years. I was kicking and screaming when I left my beautiful city behind and moved to the armpit of California. My ex knew that was going to happen. He had his laugh for a bit. I served my “sentence” there for too long and coming here was a compromise.

I asked a friend of mine to keep his ear to the ground about possible openings for roommates down there… preferrably female, so if I did make the move, that my dad would take it a bit better. He knows it’s coming ultimately. But, it should be pretty apparent how much of a daddy’s girl I am. And I’m perfect/Italian… so him liking the situation is even more so important.

Summation.. I have options where I could move back to IL… but that’s more of a last case scenario. I do like it here. But damnit.. home is San Diego. I have friends and attachments there. I want to push the mark.
That may mean I may have to turn down dinner theatre if I get offered it in lue of a job thats nationwide and only would mean a transfer. I’m getting ahead of myself here. I’ll know about the dinner theatre position by Friday afternoon. I have another interview later today- 3rd one with a company I’ve worked for before. That one is nationwide.

The possibility of a roommate there where I actually want to be though.. in a bigger place.. for less money… is pretty damn inviting.
My heart is in San Diego. Arrg. This would have been so much better if Jamie had come down here like she was planning to before the whole New York thing. (We made up btw)

I’m weighing it out… thinking it may be a bit soon. But it’s not soon enough.
Maybe I should just work on making a beam or something.. if I miss, maybe I can explode a house with popcorn.
Until then… /clicks heels
There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home…