Premptive possible correction

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, when someone asks you-

“Am I sharing you with anyone?”

would you interpret that as the person doesn’t want to share you?  See also

“So did you behave while you were gone?”

“Behave” and “Sharing” to me, means implied obligation to behave or otherwise not wander.  To me, those queries indicate a few possible factors:

  • You are involved enough with said person in which you want exclusive rights to said person’s emotional or sexual persona.  It was recently argued that it is a carnal instinct to be monogamous.
  • It’s a test of the relationship.
  1. if the person says they are fine with sharing, they may not be available: emotionally or physically to have a monogamous relationship
  2. if the person says they are not fine with it, they are declaring themselves possessive.
  • It’s a test of your commitment level.  If you care about me/this relationship, you will have no problem with doing this.
  • It’s a test of your trust level.  How prone are you to stray?  Will they be honest with wanting to have multiple lovers, or if “cheating” is possible, will they hide it?
  • It’s to find out how secure and confident you are.  Do you get jealous at the thought of your partner being with others or can you handle them going on majorly emotionless dating/sexual escapades?
  • It’s a question if your lover satisfies you sufficiently. This is a death move.  Tread carefully.

So, before I make a correction to how I perceived the situation here… I’m curious if I’m the only one that may have gotten the same idea by some of the wording I received from the grip.

Baby, if I’m wrong here, we’ll work something out as a payment of said point in LA’s favor.  Something dirty of course, so no one really loses.

So jury, what says you?  Implied monogamy?  Or is talk just cheap?

Also, I might add one last factor: while that whole “it’s ok” conversation happened, he also said

“I’d rather this then be cheated on…”

Fate rests in your hands dear readers… give me liberty or give me death?

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    I’m loading up on deductions

    I’ve got needs, lots of them.  Yes, I need to get railed not only regular but frequent basis.  Everyday… multiple times a day.  Specifically when I’m involved.  Think you’re up for the task?

    Enter my newest boy toy… he’s a cute nerdy type whose day job is a grip for Fox.  He works 12+ hours a day with some major shortage of days off during the peak season.  He doesn’t want to share me.  For a poly, this is…

    So on days when the boy is working and what not, I do threaten to go off and get it elsewhere. Is it assinine?  Yes, admittedly so.

    Before I left for San Francisco for example (before we became official) I told him-

    “While I’m up there fucking someone else, I want you to remember… that it’s nothing to do with how I feel about you.  In fact, you should feel better about it because all it really is would be friends/sex.”

    “So I should feel lucky that I’m not getting lucky… Check”

    It’s no secret that I enjoy my dating and sexual romps.

    A friend of mine messaged me last night and asked

    “How are you temptress?”

    Funny.. he had no clue that’s the latest nickname that people have given me.

    I’m safe about my sex and am actually selective on whom I bed.  A friend once summed it up perfectly:

    “Poly means quantity, not all.”

    Something that a lot of people may not realize:  I am tantric in between lovers.  It’s probably why my sex drive is so high when I’m involved.  I do not even own a sex toy.

    The grip tells me that he doesn’t want to hold me back, and that I should be free to do whatever I like.  While I know this is a guilt trip, I also remind him of the poly status.

    “Don’t tell me stuff like that unless you mean it.. because I will go get it elsewhere if I don’t get it from you dear..”

    “It’s a tax write-off..”

    He was supposed to have the day off today.  Instead he’s helping a friend out with Deal or No Deal.   There’s a cute musician down the street from me… working remotely wondering what I’m up to.

    He better get off work soon.. it’s been days and I’m rather tempted.

    The big M talk.. is coming

    Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 6:42 PM

    They should have been here 30 minutes ago.  They should be here any minute.  I hope they are.  I’m anxious to get started on the road…
    I think of you.  Half worried, half…
    Is it wrong to say that I know that I’ll miss you when I’m gone?  That I hope that you’re better and yet…
    I worry.
    I don’t know why.  You don’t give me any reason to think that.
    Perhaps I’m just protective.  Perhaps I’m just being silly.
    Fuck. perhaps they’re here.
    I know I can’t ask you.. but I’m just.. I’ll see you when I get back right?

    I can’t wait for our next adventure.  Hugs. Kisses.
    My dear my dear who steals my heart… please don’t make it a slushie…
    unless i can sip it with u through a straw & then skip rocks on the ocean with the chunks.

    So I get back from my trip and see the grip.  He has written me 2 letters while I was gone.   The Angels clenched the AL West.  Woot!  I have a stack of emails to still write, but the first person on my list of people to see besides my roommate is my boy.

    There’s a huge difference for a poly girl with just going out and having sex for the enjoyment of it, versus that certain someone which suddenly everything means that much more.  While I was in SF I had some really.. well, being single has its advantages.  I enjoy the dating scene.  I love my polyamorous lifestyle.  Deep down a part of me is wondering when that person who will dazzle me will come along.

    I’m picky about everything that goes in or on me.  Food.  Clothes.  Shoes.  Men.  Women.  All of the above.  It takes a lot to really impress me.  Beyond some great sex, this years Romeos have never hit the mark… no, not even “Big.” And so continues the cycle of dating.. of stories of failed romances and laughing and..

    Why is it that when you find someone amazing, others seem to pop out of the woodwork?  Maybe this is just me being poly (greedy) but what’s wrong with wanting to date them all?  Why does one *have* to choose?

    I asked him if he behaved while I was gone.  He told me he was too busy working and planning elaborate dates with me than to be after someone else.  I believe him.  I’m hypocritical in that I prefer him not to be poly as well… although honestly it wouldn’t bother me if he was.

    The big m word was brought up.  The dreaded word to any poly.. Mon..og..a..

    Gag.

    But if I have to make a choice…

    How do I tell the most amazing guy that I’m just a greedy bastard without… well, sounding like I’m a greedy (unsatisfied) bastard?