The big M talk.. is coming

Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 6:42 PM

They should have been here 30 minutes ago.  They should be here any minute.  I hope they are.  I’m anxious to get started on the road…
I think of you.  Half worried, half…
Is it wrong to say that I know that I’ll miss you when I’m gone?  That I hope that you’re better and yet…
I worry.
I don’t know why.  You don’t give me any reason to think that.
Perhaps I’m just protective.  Perhaps I’m just being silly.
Fuck. perhaps they’re here.
I know I can’t ask you.. but I’m just.. I’ll see you when I get back right?

I can’t wait for our next adventure.  Hugs. Kisses.
My dear my dear who steals my heart… please don’t make it a slushie…
unless i can sip it with u through a straw & then skip rocks on the ocean with the chunks.

So I get back from my trip and see the grip.  He has written me 2 letters while I was gone.   The Angels clenched the AL West.  Woot!  I have a stack of emails to still write, but the first person on my list of people to see besides my roommate is my boy.

There’s a huge difference for a poly girl with just going out and having sex for the enjoyment of it, versus that certain someone which suddenly everything means that much more.  While I was in SF I had some really.. well, being single has its advantages.  I enjoy the dating scene.  I love my polyamorous lifestyle.  Deep down a part of me is wondering when that person who will dazzle me will come along.

I’m picky about everything that goes in or on me.  Food.  Clothes.  Shoes.  Men.  Women.  All of the above.  It takes a lot to really impress me.  Beyond some great sex, this years Romeos have never hit the mark… no, not even “Big.” And so continues the cycle of dating.. of stories of failed romances and laughing and..

Why is it that when you find someone amazing, others seem to pop out of the woodwork?  Maybe this is just me being poly (greedy) but what’s wrong with wanting to date them all?  Why does one *have* to choose?

I asked him if he behaved while I was gone.  He told me he was too busy working and planning elaborate dates with me than to be after someone else.  I believe him.  I’m hypocritical in that I prefer him not to be poly as well… although honestly it wouldn’t bother me if he was.

The big m word was brought up.  The dreaded word to any poly.. Mon..og..a..

Gag.

But if I have to make a choice…

How do I tell the most amazing guy that I’m just a greedy bastard without… well, sounding like I’m a greedy (unsatisfied) bastard?

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2 thoughts on “The big M talk.. is coming

  1. “How do I tell the most amazing guy that I’m just a greedy bastard without… well, sounding like I’m a greedy (unsatisfied) bastard?”

    You don’t.

    You already realize that “good for thee but not me” pretty much leaves you wide open for the “hypocrisy” label. If it’s that good, don’t blow it by pretending to be something you aren’t. It’s not worth it.

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