Baby steps: taking the initiative to succeed in the workspace

Jennifer Stavros

Los Angeles, CA

[phone number]

Dear Hiring Manager,

Hello again. A pin dropped and echoed on the floor after I hit send.  I knew then that I likely ruined my chances at getting your proofreader position due to 2 spelling errors within my objective.  I went to a business meeting about career development and discussed it.  I knew that this position is the perfect opportunity for me and yet, I’d botched it.

I had initially wanted to write this email and hesitated.  Frankly, I was afraid.  Then I realized something after some thought:  the worst thing that you could do was simply not hire me.

So here goes nothing.  Attached you will find another copy (a re-proofread resume).  Here’s hoping that you give me a chance.  I am eager to provide the best quality service possible for the [redacted company name]. I look forward to speaking with you further.

With Utmost and Kindest Regards,
Jennifer Stavros

and yes, I really sent this.  In my mind, I had to.  Freelance copy gigs are amazing when they come, but at the same time… even if I don’t get this job, I’m proud that I had the guts to write it.  Baby steps.  It’s going to be alright. Now someone hire me already damnit.

And the rest is up to destiny

Interview this morning.  The big one.

If I get this job, I have the apartment.. I become a San Diego resident within the month.  If not, the clock goes back a bit.. I stay here in Claremont a bit longer.  I save some more money.  I remain focused on the goal.  3 more months is all I’d want to stay here if I can’t go now.  I still want to push the mark.. to tow the line.

Deep breaths.  Kisses good luck.

Poised.  Ready for the kill.  Dressed to kill.  High heels and red hair.

Just got done.. will know by Thursday.  It went well, but I’m still not sure about it.  I went in confident… presented myself accordingly.

I was so nervous beforehand.. I just drove and got lost for a bit.  I’m planning on going to Mount Soledad today… perhaps the beach.  I don’t have to have the car back until Wednesday night.  No plans tommorrow, nor work.  Huge appointment on Wednesday again.  This is going to be a big week.

I had a talk with my dad before I left.  I explained to him that this would make me very happy, but if I didn’t get this.. that I would be taking a different plan to get to the same ultimate destination.  San Diego will be home by the end of the year.  Period.  He needs to accept it.

I was firm, but warm.  I know my dad.  His heart is in the right place and he’s worried.  As much as I’m nervous.. I’m…

Sometimes you have to take a few moments and savor the sunshine.  I’m going to walk the beach today.  Perhaps have a margarita.  I’m not sure where the wind will take me… but I will go with it and weather the storm.

And that’s enough cheese for now… Sushi plans are in order first.

3 G Energizer

If you can keep pulling this off, I’m going to have to tell my introduce you as “This is my friend Jena.. the Terminator…”

Yeah, I’m so not a morning person. I can’t wait until its the “weekend” again.. I was supposed to go in 30 minutes ago…

“Hey I know you work till 5, but do you think you could come in for a long shift at 10?”

Yeah, sure I said. Because I’m a dumb ass. She said go ahead and come in at 11 if I want to today though.. and that’s what I decided to do.
I haven’t worn makeup in 2 days.. and it’s a bit funny.. I’m getting hit on almost more than I do when I have it on. I was told I look a lot better without it. It’s part of my game of escape though. I know that I don’t really need it.. but feel so boring and mundane looking otherwise. Meh. Minimal stuff works too. I think that’s what I’ll do today.

A couple of guys at my jobs asked me about my San Diego plans coming up.. said that they were jealous. One of them went so far as to saying that he would move to San Diego with me. I told him that

  • a- me going down there was something specifically for me.. I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time
  • b- I have multiple offers to go live with guys in a few areas of the country and essentially never have to work again but that has no appeal to me as it’s not a challenge
  • c-Even if I was serious with someone, the likelihood that I’d move in with them is not there.. just because I like my independance and
  • d-all of this is moot because I’m both
  1. looking for female roommates preferrably and
  2. have a rule that I don’t date people from work, specifically at my level or department

There seems to be a bit of this inquisition going around. People that really have no right getting jealous over me and others that seem to have a problem with me making choices to do things that I’ve been working my ass off to do. I was getting complaints about standing up to dad and holding my ground about the move.. horray now I feel a bit guilty for what? For doing what I want to do.

Summation? Conscious for sale. Get me home, and someone friggin give me a better job already.

good.. morning? evening? wth is this again?

Work was cancelled again due to the weather.. 2 days off for the overnight team. Tonight was a disaster. It was just one thing after another. The truck was really heavy today. So many boxes of heavy electronics. I swear that Kodak is the devil.

Someone gave me a broken pallete so one of my sections was a mess to organize. Thankfully I just unload it and put it there. I did the best that I could with what they gave me.

I was thinking about something personal and got a little down about it. I tried to push it off of my mind, then I got assigned to a department dealing with it. Awesome.

I did the front gum again and looked at the clock.. it should have been about time to go home. Oh no.. I got assigned to another department that I didn’t know. The guys were alright I suppose.. but I don’t know what’s the problem with some of the people there. Many of them have been there for years and seem shocked that little me is working at that hour. My friend David works overnights at his job so thankfully he keeps me entertained. I don’t know what I’d do without him and my ipod.

The sun comes up and we’re still not done. I asked when we leave, and they told me “When it’s done.” Ok, fine. But when it was nearly done, they ditched me to clean up their crap. Babysitting never stops.

I went to clock out and again more… I can’t find my card to punch out. So I have to take care of it when I go back Friday night. My boss was too busy to take care of it today. I hit the bus to head home and stopped at the juicer. First time I’ve paid for a smoothie since I’ve worked there. But there was a girl there that I hadn’t met. She knew who I was. She said she was hoping to meet me and really wanted to work with me. I didn’t realize I was that popular. Considering she’d never seen me and I didn’t have a nametag on, it was very odd.. but flattering.

Home for about an hour now. I drank half my smoothie and am preparing for my errands… here’s what I have to do:

  1. shower again
  2. go to an interview for a possible 3rd job
  3. walgreens for some personal stuff
  4. the bank and deposit my checks
  5. post office to pick something up bc the dumbass postman didn’t knock on my door to get a certified signature (though he’s left other things requiring that at our doorstop before)
  6. RadioShack to return the phone charger I bought while I was out in Santa Ana after writing the rule not to forget it.
  7. Schedule a doctors appointment, or go out and try and get a walk-in one.
  8. vaccum
  9. dishes
  10. clean the fridge
  11. garbage
  12. scrub the floors
  13. put away all the clothes in my room (heh um and go through some of them)
  14. go through the rest of the stuff in the storage area in the apartment
  15. schedule a pickup from Goodwill
  16. call dad to ask about rent for the month
  17. depending on daddy’s answer, update my wordpress account & troll ebay for some odds and ends
  18. try and get a hold of Mike about possible cheap tickets to Chicago next month for my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary
  19. emails
  20. check and catch up on blogs, friendfeeds, tweets
  21. caffeine caffeine caffeine
  22. relax

Eesh. So much for a day off right?

Come back warm weather kid

I’m off again from my day job because sales sucked this week and it’s dead.  I guess I should be happy for it considering it was nonstop go go go the past few days.  I got a lil bit of sleep but am back to being wide awake again.

I got my schedule for my night job this week.  I’m off this weekend, but not next.

Work,combined with a roommate out of the country and assorted birthday week shannigans, has left me very limited time to get to my microblogging as well as my normal blogging.  I was on nearly a 10 day hiatus due to goings on here, lack of power, near encounters with heatstroke and getting hit by a car.. and that’s just the tip of the iceburg.
I’m happily getting back to the hustle bustle that is more up my alley.  It was overdue.
For those of you in the LA area, I will be making a cameo at my first official social media event finally- the LA tweetup this Saturday night (unless something happens to mess with that, I have work off both jobs already).  I look forward to hopefully meeting many of you there.  Come help me lose my event virginity, chat, have a few drinks and let’s chat about all the Paresian blah blah blah… because I want to know YOUR stories.  I want to know what makes you tick.

This should be fun.  It’s about time I’m hitting some of these goals.  Now I think I may head over to the record store and get another cord for my ipod so I can change out some of the music on here before work later tnite.  Did I mention that it’s weird that I don’t have to work again till 1030?  Boo. And then ANOTHER “weekend.”  Blah.  Yes, I am a workaholic.. Now if only I could force myself to want to clean the house at “normal hours.”

proving myself when need not be proven

Some people never can seem to be happy enough. I have been working my ass off with 2 jobs.. looking for more.. and I still am hearing about things from pops. The roommate situation got even more hellacious and shes not even here. It’s been a week of catch up with life, and I’m doing my damnest to keep trudging on and look for something better.

Oh the week of my birthday has been a bit debaucherous and the apartment is a mild version as to why.
There are some clothes scattered on the floor from days with no roommate home so being able to just lay around naked. I haven’t washed the dishes because she left most of hers in the sink when she left. It’s not horrible here, but its not super clean.

I can’t stand the mess but I honestly hadn’t been home much to sit in it… and today I am and it’s raining, so I really don’t want to do anything but veg and maybe bake some cupcakes.

I was supposed to have gone down to San Diego last night. I called Daddy about the metro to see if perhaps when I’d called there to find out the train schedule it was any different.. and got a lecture.
I was offered to go down there by someone whom I’d previously dated and hadn’t seen in over a year. It was a bit of a birthday present/ well… nunya.

I was spoiled this week by friends who took care of me. I got flowers sent to me on my birthday, and went out for drinks with new friends. I had a great birthday. I feel very fortunate.

And my dad has helped me out alot.. but I’m doing the best that I can to change that he’s helping me. I have spent a total of $40 on myself.. half of which was food and I felt guilty about over the past month. I think I should be entitled to have a bit of a social life here and there… it balances it out a bit.

I had orientation for my overnight job yesterday. I start my official duties there on Sunday night… after a night of working over at the juicer. I’m excited. I missed working in the back stockroom. I’m hoping it was as good as I’d remembered. Ah one job where I will be free of dealing with customers. Then onward home to sleep a little bit before I go back to the day job at 11. Woo.

Tuesday I have an interview for a 3rd job. I got a call about a 9-5 position that may be open nearby as well today.

Point being, with everything that I’m doing, I shouldn’t have to prove myself to anyone anymore should I? I have a lot on my plate and I’m being responsible with things here.
I don’t expect my friends or anyone to have to pay for me constantly.. quite frankly, I’m working myself to the bone to minimalize that and save, and pay off some bills… and am still job searching.

How much is it going to take to get my family to say that I’m not lazy? I don’t start school again until July… I checked into possibly trying to get into a university down in San Diego. I can’t get into a “normal” institution until next year. I could get into a community college I’m sure.. but I’d have to be down there.

I’m saving for a car. I’m being fairly responsible.
Actually.. I will sleep even less soon. Sunday-Monday I have to get everything set because it’s going to be pretty nuts. I hope that I can find a time to blog.

He’s worried about me. He thinks people will try and take advantage of me. He thinks I won’t be responsible. I turned 26 this week. I feel guilty 99% of the time I spend money. What more does he want?

“What’s his name?”
“Why does it have to be a him?”
“Because it’s always a him.”
“That’s pretty moot because I’m bisexual anyway dad…”

“Is it a new boyfriend again?”
“Dad, I like to date. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a boyfriend… Furthermore, if I want to date and possibly have sex, I’m old enough and responsible enough to be careful about it. So get over it.”

“I don’t expect you to understand this. I have really awesome friends. I’m careful about the company I keep. I have a good time with them, and I’m fortunate that they take care of it from time to time. I’d do the same for them anyway.”
“There comes a point where they want a return on that investment. And when you don’t put out, they’re going to take it anyway. It’s dangerous..”
“I’m aware. That generally happens to people who are being deceptive about it, and who really aren’t on their guard. I carry mace and wear high heels for a reason dad…”

Hard work deserves a reward every once in awhile doesn’t it?
I think so.
But here we go with this game of validation still.

Piercings and dinner theatre extravaganza

Well, hopefully. Today was my orientation to my part time job. Woot. After months of searching, I finally landed something. It’s not anything outstanding, but it’ll help. The job hunt still continues. It’s a bit of a relief that I’m finally going to see some progress… a paycheck? Money to possibly go out with? What’s this thing you call a social life? I seem to have forgotten.

I couldn’t sleep last night. Insomnia struck again as it seems to do whenever there’s something going on. Maybe it was because my house wasn’t completely clean. Maybe it is because I knew it wouldn’t remain clean. Maybe because I was dreaming about the cupcakes I want to make tonight. (Damnit roommate and friends, I want to bake. For once, I’m actually not complaining about that one. She’s making dinner as we speak. I’ll ignore that she threw away the food I made before I left for work.)

Mmm smoothies and pretzels. It was my lunchtime snack. This is going to be great for parties actually. I am a little bit bummed though. Work was good. The people were very nice. But in my interview they didn’t mention anything wrong with my piercing. Throughout most of orientation it wasn’t mentioned either. And then the dreaded “You have to remove that when you work or cover it up.. and no clear plugs are not acceptable… because it’s still there.” That last part was annoying. Again, very nonchalant and easily brushed off.  Now they’re not just telling me I can’t have it showing and cover it up discretely, they’re telling them I can’t have it at all.

For those that don’t know, my piercing holds certain personal connection to something very traumatic that happened to me about a year and a half ago.  Taking it out is not an option for me.  Let’s just leave it there for now.

The girl who told me afterwards came closer and said she wanted to look closer at it. She’d never seen anything like it. She thought it was cool, and apologized for the policy. My dad will be happy. Pulling an R-Kelly and hiding it with a band aid will have to do I guess. Either that, or find a religion that has it as part of a custom, and suddenly become it. Watch it be the African Anteater religion or something ridiculous. Maybe I’ll make one and start my own church. Then, when they don’t accept it, sue. KIDDING!

Not to disgust anyone, but for the over a year I’ve had it, I’ve never removed it before. The balls are on so tight that I may have to take pliers to my face to get it off. This should be.. fun.

Before work, I got on the bike and went on my daily ride. This time, I’d found an ad for a dinner theatre that’s hiring nearby me. The requirements were not difficult. It’s something I’m sure I could do easily. And office experience? Awesome.

The building is under construction right now, so it’s a bit confusing to see what’s there. The offices are not very well labeled, so when I was looking for the building to apply at, I accidently entered the theatre itself. No one was there. It was lunchtime. But it was open. I walked around. Inside, everything was regal and nostalgic. I looked around for someone to tell me where to go. Again, no one. Nothing but dead silence. I took out my camera and went to snap some pictures… nightmare. For some reason, there weren’t batteries. Blah.

It made me think about back in the days when I did theatre. I haven’t been on a stage in years. It feels like only yesterday I was in school, and doing plays and musicals every season.. lead roles every time.

I was raised on theatre. It is one of the few fond memories that I have growing up of my mother. She saw my passion for the stage. I was able to see many performances over my childhood.

When I first came to California, like most everyone else here, I wanted to be an actor. I wanted people to dance on stage and sing, but not be a stripper.  I ended up a statistic.  I got pregnant and had my oldest son.  It’s a choice I wouldn’t do differently at all.  My oldest son and I have a very strong relationship.  His father poofed when he heard word of me being pregnant.  Died some years later.

I still dance and sing.  Just not on that stage.  Not like I once did.  When I was in school about 4 years ago in San Diego, people told me I should join the drama clubs.  I stepped on a stage once just looking around and lost my voice.  I’m rarely shy about anything and it’s amazing what happens with time.

It’s like that play I was in based on the book by Robert Fulghum, “Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”  there were many questions posed about behavior to a Kindergarten class versus adults.  I wish I knew where my script was, it’s around here somewhere.

Fingers crossed though that this works out.  I applied to a position with Fox in downtown LA (Burbank more specifically) that I would love to get.  It sounds glamorous, but it’s not entirely… it’s just a grunt job.  But you’ve got to start somewhere right?

Who knows, maybe I’ll move up in the part time that I’m at now and be alright.  Or maybe I’ll get this job with the dinner theatre.  Or this other one.. or all of the above.  All I know is, I’ve had a time where I had money to burn and it was wonderful.  I want to get back to that and get back to school too.  I want more more more for myself.  I think this is why me and my ex broke up.  I wanted progression and he was fine settling.  Que sera sera

I thought that was against the bible, sir/ Conformity = Loyalty

Sunday evening’s ramble yesterday with family ended in dinner. Yes, believe it or not, yours truly cooked dinner and washed the dishes for a family affair. Lucky me, I got to bbq in the 100 degree weather. Woot.

It was a day full of disdain, as I wrote earlier with the rant on normalacy.

Yet again, even with a day off, we go back to work ethics. This time there was someone who was fired from her job recently in order to make room for some cheaper labor. The woman was unfortunate to have too much experience. Now I am not sure weather or not that these clients in question were ones that she’d helped the company aquire on her own accord, or not. That could make some difference to this arguement.

It was discussed in family discussion though, that the person should take their clients and branch off to do the business on her own. Which raises the eyebrow for me a bit… while the perspective previous employer may have not been the best about firing her (she still collects unemployment bc the company was gracious enough to tell the gov’t a good reason so as she would get it- per her severance), being the sensitivity of the information of the clients (medical billing), they could be within their rights to keep their clients. Or should the woman be able to walk with them? Where is the ethical line? Do NDAs (Non Disclosure Agreements) not hold any merit? Isn’t this, in a way, essentially stealing?

How is this ok behavior morally and ethically sound?

Todays debaucle.. 2 little dots.

Living in Southern California, I would think that we are a little more liberal and open minded about appearances. The West End is a cultural melting pot. It’s not uncommon to see people with facial piercings actively working with customers. Or, well it’s supposed to be more acceptable.

However, despite the fact that I live in “uppity organic indieville,” I have recently run into what my dad has secretly, and well, not very secretly hoping would happen. Ah yes, for the first time since moving to this area, I was told my facial piercing would be an issue, and would have to be removed and/or covered up in as cosmetically pleasing way possible.

My piercing holds personal weight to it. I’m not going to go into it now, but if you are close, you will know exactly what it means. In a vague nutshell, my marriage had a disastrous ending. Some things that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone happened… and I got my piercing as a representation from where I’ve come from. True, that I should not “need” it to get through what I did. However, it’s as much a part of me as any appendage is to someone… and so, when someone says “Oh just take it out, it’s no big deal.” It really is.

Conformist lemming nonsense yet again.

So how is that acceptable? You cant discriminate because of sex, religion, or sexual preference… tell me what, praytell does me having a non-offensive piercing have to do with my ability to work? How is it any different from any of the other things that companies are not allowed to not hire you for?

How is it that we have affirmative action where people get jobs SPECIFICALLY bc they are x minority but there is not anything for people like me.. or hell “worse” than me? Have we not evolved as a society enough yet? What the hell was that whole womens liberation movement about? The freeing of the slaves? The countless Religious struggles?

This country was founded by church going types. They didn’t want to be oppressed by their monarchy, yet they do the same selective biggotry here like it’s nothing. It makes sense. It is after all, one of the negative traits of organized religion* (in my experience).

It’s the same religious individuals running our gov’t and snubbing the alternative, kitsh, and otherwise

*Note-all religions are not necessarily bad. the views & insights of the writer are based on personal experiences & leave open for anyone elses personal beliefs… someone else may have had a better experience, and all the more power to them. I’d rather have positives than negatives with anything*

It’s funny that these are the ones that most frequent their dominatrix… cheat on their wives and partake in alt subcultures but prefer them to remain underground bc god forbid (pun intended) that they be exposed for the sinners they actually are.. and not these morally sound wonders beings.

Morals and ethics and selective censorship.. who makes these things up? Why are some things stuck in this teasing game of are we in, are we not 1957?

What’s good for the goose, should be for the gander… and if not, let’s force them through psychological oppression! They’ll never know the difference!