working on the memory

We need to go on a break.. I don’t always have to see you when you’re in town. Enjoy your friends too. I want you here because I know this is where you want to be.. where you are happiest… let’s work on being friends and we can explore that other part later… when we’re both not as fucked up.

I sighed, a bit dejected. But I agreed. It really wasn’t time yet. Who knows if it ever would be. Regardless of any feelings there may or may not be. And then he said…

…so, when are you coming back?

I honestly didn’t know then. I still don’t know right now. But we both know that I’ll be back as soon as I can. The city.. the sea calls to me. That’s home. And that’s where he is. Triple hitter dose of I want to get there. My heart screams to get there.

Until then, I’m working on making the memory a reality again for more than those brief moments of levity. To take back those stolen moments, with pictures taken… words said.. kisses shared.. of laughter… longing looks across the room… and inside jokes.

We’ll have to find a chinese restaurant to frequent when you move back…

Of working in an industry I loved… of sandy beaches and debauchery. Of living.. really living life in a city I never really got to experience until I left it.

I’ll be home soon my love. I’ll be home soon.

Oh sea of dreams. Oh magic city. Oh.. oh.. oh… man that makes me oh with such passion and attraction in phenomenal Ecstasy.

la jolla cove-june 28 08

Yes, I’m fucked. I did something I vowed I wouldn’t do. I fell in love. I committed the worst crime possible. Damnit damnit damnit.

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