I am beginning to think I only truly exist in a fantasy

I’m just a girl like any other.. trying to make believe I’m any more extraordinary than ordinary. I censor myself selectively. I am almost always never serious.. seriously.

I travel, take pictures, dance, and write. or rather, write, dance, take pictures, and travel. There that order is better.
I’m a lil off center but not enough to be called off center.

I’m whimsical and mysterious.. frequently random, and randomly normal… I’m an oxymoron.. a walking contradiction.. a dancer on crowded sidewalks… and more than just a bit cynical.

I believe that so much can be said in the unsaid. When asked to describe my work, I was told that it’s best called “Victocryptic.” “It’s very Victorian in its style and very cryptic in its meaning.”

I believe that nothing is impossible. Impossible is an illusion. There is always a way, you just have to find it.

This is the story of my journey to find those answers…these are my thoughts and day to day stories beyond the snippets in my microblogs. Here’s a bigger piece of the puzzle… though never the full look see.

This is the nitty, gritty and ocasionally not pretty life story of a girl with a double singular identity. From ramble about the past, living and learning in the present… the professional, the personal, the volatile and the oftentimes scandalous, to prose, dating, and other assorted debaucherous endeavors, to philosophy and saying what it seems no one else will say… I invite you to be a figurative voyeur.

Come take a look in the window, and entertain the idea of what a beautiful disaster it would be like, if I was released into the world for more than just a few moments at a time.

(10:43:50 AM) supernerdlady: its not yet noon and i have already been given a jar
(10:44:04 AM) supernerdlady: can you put me in the window at least?
(10:44:17 AM) supernerdlady: i want a glimpse of this thing you call sunshine
(10:45:50 AM) possibly someone: You’re already in the window.
(10:49:39 AM) supernerdlady: ah *stretches* I need a bow. i hear them say im pretty but they’re always so cautious when they dare entertain even touch me. they say that i’m something special but i rarely get wrapped in cellophane. so here i sit in the window gathering dust.. not for not being not wanted or desired.. but out of.. respect and admiration of a beautiful decoration in a windowpane.

3 thoughts on “I am beginning to think I only truly exist in a fantasy

  1. I heard your utter just now. I got back from the bare (its 1:47 am) and you seemed to be driving back from San Diego weirded out by something. You said that you were “blowing your mind”, so it must be something big.
    Anyway, feel better girl–RC

  2. Very cool – insightful without giving away anything, I wish the post were longer… I guess I will have to continue to follow your ramblings.

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