4.

I oftentimes find myself having both the best and worst timing imaginable.  Why it seems to happen, I’m unsure.  But I wouldn’t give it up any of it.

All those moments…

the rise and fall of passion and levity to see-you-laters and goodbyes…

Life is about the experiences.

They’re about discovery.

What’s real.

And what’s going to make you more real…

however surreal and dreamlike they may be.

I’m so grateful I found you.

You.

You.

Me.

You

(and?)

Me.

If only for a moment.

If only for this moment.

however surreal and dreamlike it may be.

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Douchebag Alert! Username: the foot connoisseur

“I don’t even care that you wrote it.  I understand how you feel.  But if you have a problem with me, tell me first.  Or tell me after.  But tell me.  Confront me.”

Enter one of the best men I’ve ever encountered.  Also, foot meet mouth yet again.

Every man I’ve become interseted in, and most every relationship I become involved with in general is met with a statement upfront:

My life is very public.  It is also very private.  Once you enter my world, user discretion is advised.

People say that they enjoy honesty.  But honestly, that’s bullshit.  Everyone has opinions.  Even the nicest person can come across as being an asshole.

This week’s douchebag of the week is a cheers to the times where things just get blown out of proportion, taken the wrong way, and we get a taste of our own petty douchebaggery.

So here’s to trying to be a bit more mindful of our actions, lest we all make the list.

[To be continued]

3 questions

Happiness is in the eye of the beholder, but only if the beholder is truly happy.  No amount of money, sex, possessions or stimulants can truly compare to that of a person who has everything within.  It’s like a ripple effect.

Think about that person on the road yesterday who cut you off.  You in turn, flick someone off.  Your drive home is aggravated.  Behaviors are contagious.  I dare you to make little changes like that for a week.  See how it effects you.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1) Who do you see when you wake up and look in the mirror? Answer this inwardly as well as outwardly.  Change starts with acknowledgment.  So does acceptance.

2)When you get hurt, who feels the pain?

3)If you don’t succeed at life, who will you really let down?

So often we, as a people, find ourselves becoming the victim.  Catch yourself before it happens.

It’s not wrong to be selfish all the time.  Get that notion out of your head.  The holidays are coming.  Do something for yourself even if it’s something small.  Try to avoid that holiday depression.  It’s alright to moderate.

You must put yourself first before all others.  You are the only thing that matters.  You have to be happy with yourself.  You have to live with yourself.  Make yourself happy.  It’s only then that you’re able to make someone else happy.

I’m making a resolution to do these actions, however small, whenever I’m having a horrible day.  I repeated them many times after I had this conversation yesterday.  Make today yours.. now it’s off for my cup of coffee.

Ok, so every once in awhile, everyone goes to the zoo

I didn’t finish everything on the list yesterday.. but damn I still got a lot done.  Sleep, did make a cameo after all.  Postponed after what 4 juicers, I was due.

Last night’s slumber felt amazing.  It would have been even more so had I gotten the apartment cleaned like I would have liked.  I just pushed over some things and made a corner of bed to lay down and sink into.  I went to bed EARLY for me.  I ignored im’s and my phone.  I took time to just really relax.

Today I feel refreshed.  I’m thinking about taking a swim, running the errands I didn’t finish yesterday, and possibly cleaning.  It’s a day of spring cleaning.. a day of catch up.  A day of putting the feet up finally.

I woke up to my roommate coming home.  I was dreading it.   So far it’s been fine though.  She was so relieved to be home after her trip.  She was mellow and cheerful.  I suddenly felt bad about being such an asshole with things not being done around the house.  We talked about her trip and things and smoked a couple of cigarrettes.   Maybe things will be better.  I really hope so.

Putting some cash into savings felt good.  Now I just have to forget its there. Actually, scratch that, it doesn’t exist.  All that I have is the few dollars in my wallet this moment, and they needn’t be spent on anything that is not detrimental to life functioning… some sacrifices must be made in order to have amass debauchery and goodness later.

I’m going to look for some things to change the template here a bit and revamp.  If anyone knows of anywhere that has some good ones, please let me know.  Eventually I want to redirect and get things setup for my own sites and all of that.  I own the domains, I have ideas already.. I just need to get a few more ducks in a row to get them all up and running.

Routine is a welcome thing.. not working again today feels odd.  My boss for job 1 said that she may need me later today, but isn’t sure.  I hope that she does.

Time has become even more valuable.  Everything is an investment.  And my time is best used in those commodities.. weather they are journeys in the quest for knowledge, identity, art, love, lust, pleasure, sadism, masochism, frolic and fancy free, journalistic, documentary, etcetera.. they all serve the same purpose in the end.  I want to maximize the output from the machine.  I want more for myself than yesterday, everyday.  The seasons are changing.  It’s that time of year again.  I am the final product.  And its crunch time in overtime.