Cheating: Sound Advice from another author

A friend of mine called me this evening pondering about life and death.  He was seeking answers.

The who.

The what.

The why.

The etectera.

We talked about this and oh so much more.  We have been friends for years.  Throughout our adolescent years.. past the blur of a not quite romance, we still are two kindred spirits.  It was good to talk to him.  I just wished he was feeling better.

As I was talking to him I thought about a note I saw on my friend Violet’s facebook.  I read it aloud for him over the phone last night.  We both enjoyed it.

Here is a copy of that note for you to consume and perhaps enjoy for yourself:

It was once said that this speech was delivered by Kurt Vonnegut to MIT’s graduating class of 97. That proved to be false but I like this and think it’s pretty good anyway. Bon Appetit.
——————

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Smile.  Your life is your own and meant to be lived to its fullest. Savor every moment.  Carpe Diem.  Seize the day.

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Gold stars for you: Moving is more than moving

I haven’t talked to her in a few months.  We’d said that we were going to talk more.  We used to be best friends.  You know, back before he happened.

I introduced her to her boyfriend- a guy I knew from a website around the same I started to date Big.  While we all know what happened with him, her relationship, though cross country not only lasted but she arrived in New York this week to take up residence to be near him.

Her sheer amount of patience through the struggle of being away from the person she loved for so long is admirable.  I envy her in a way.  It is not something that I think I could have done.

Her cross country love story- from Alaska all the way out East, gives me a bit of hope.

Everything is possible if you add heart and push yourself.

So while I push harder than ever to get through some of the things going on here, my bag is a carry on tote.   These cranes will continue to be folded.  And perhaps wishes and dreams really can come true… but only if you give yourself entirely to the goal.

Here’s to fighting to making that move… everyday closer to that one bit of manifest destiny that resides within each and every one of us.

And with that, I have to go back to work.

Gold stars to you my former best friend.  I miss you.  Congrats on making it home.

Vlog: I am a character!

Upon recently hearing about the 140 conference in New York next month, I was disappointed that I didn’t know about it sooner. I was talking to my friend Rachael (the other half of this video @1indienation on Twitter) who is one of the characters attending, and she told me I should go.

For those of you that don’t know what exactly it is, here’s a little bit about it taken directly from @jeffpulver ‘s site dedicated exclusively to the contest.

The 140 Character Conference (#140conf) will be taking place at New World Stages in New York City on June 16/17. Since announcing this conference, I continue to be humbled by the people who have come forward to be a part of it. I thank the worldwide twitter community for their interest and continued support. (Feel free to follow @140conf on twitter for updates)

While the original scope of the event was to explore “the effects of twitter on: Celebrity, “The Media”, Advertising and (maybe) Politics”, the scope of the event has expanded and we will be covering these topics and a lot more. #140conf will be taking a look at twitter as a platform and will be taking a look at some of the industries which have been disrupted by the advent of twitter.

The schedule reflects the great variety of the subject areas we will be exploring and discussing at #140conf. The speakers represent a “cast of characters” whose presence will help define this event. Our cast members are flying in from around the world to join us. And while not all members of the cast will have formal speaking roles, many will and their presence will be felt at the event. The cast members joining us will be coming from as far as away as: Perth, Australia and Doha, Qatar as well as from across North America, Europe and the Middle East. This will be a gathering of people with a variety of backgrounds and the one thing everyone who will be there has in common is twitter.

The schedule for this two day event will be unique and fast paced. It is my intention to provide a platform for as many people as possible to share their thoughts and engage in conversation with the attending delegates.

However, I am one of the many sacrificial lambs left wayside in our wonderful economic wake. While I’ve had some freelance work in the interim of that happening (by the way if anyone is looking for a copywriter or a personal assistant in Los Angeles- or anything that can be done remotely if not in LA, please by all means email me), I personally can’t afford the trip to go, let alone the conference and the rest of the sh’bang.

And so, a small video project came about. A day trip adventure to the promenade in Santa Monica, talking to random unusual strangers, toys, balloon animals, friendship, and, of course, foul language. This was just one day with me… and for anyone that reads my twitter stream, or either of my blogs, I am confident that I am indeed a character. I’m a whimsical and seemingly carefree, enigmatic woman fresh to the space and ready to make my mark.

I aspire to make the in person connections with as many as possible.

  • I want to hear your stories and have adventures with you.
  • I want to “lose virginities” with you. (Did I mention that I’ve never been to New York before?)
  • I think the trip would be excellent documentary fodder.

Life is all about the experiences and the people in your life that add to them.  I know New York would be something memorable.  So please, take a look, laugh a little, vote, and then twitter “send @scandalous to the #140conf !”

Douchebag of the week: usernames- Kings of “awesome”

This week’s douchebag award was actually sent in via a tip.  For some odd reason I didn’t encounter a douchebag of my own so this is a special entry.  Don’t worry, I’m not afraid of this turning into a regular basis.  There’s a high density of douchebags in the greater Los Angeles area to make fun of.  Lucky lucky me.  Lucky lucky you.

A friend of mine works in a very corporate office setting.  It’s to be understood that while he works for a company that’s very relaxed, it is also… well extremely corporate.  There’s a degree of conduct that should be said without being said.

Enter two well known but very well known and pretentious douchebags.  They’re celebrity types.  And they’re guests at his office.  But they’re not meeting with him today.  I’m not sure if they’re due to meet with him ever actually.

He’s talking to me in instant messenger while working and hears them.  Sure enough, they’re having a meeting right outside his door.  Loud and obnoxious circle jerking.  They are their own kings of awesome.

This has been going on for the past 30 minutes.  He’s had to file a complaint about their behavior.  A little common decency goes a long way.  Pardon me guys but my friend has to work or something.  Now back to ims.

The list blogs: Lessons learned on my first night ride out

It’s been awhile since I’ve graced the grid.  The beast is huge, ridiculous to park, and a gas guzzler.  It makes for yet another annoyance whenever I want to go anywhere in LA.  I am grateful for it, but it comes with consequences.

I’ve been doing some major cutting back on social networking events to hone in on responsibilities and ongoing tasks.  Fret not, there’s much in the pipeline… I have confidence that I’ll be fine.  I appreciate your patience in the interim.  Until then, anything that I go to will be extremely limited so that I can conserve financially and get back to the point where I can do even more than I did before.

With the newfound “joy” of being on the job market again there really needs to be.. well a sheet that I have in the works for you.  Stay tuned for that in a later edition.

I took 2 time outs for myself yesterday.  I met up with a gentleman for some food and conversation.  I must say that I had a good time.  It was nice to get out and laugh a bit without any pressure.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been out with the girls though.  Last night I was invited out to 2 things: a “passion” party a friend was having and have drinks with 2 lovely ladies that I haven’t seen in what seems like forever.  In order to avoid a cliche irony of “the day I get divorced I go to a Mary Kay sex toy party” I decided on the latter.   Sorry to the friend who got roped into hosting that party.  No pun intended.  (Ps, please send me the catalog and let me know what I missed)

I was eager to get there and catch up.  It was only in Century City- a whopping 4 miles from me.  But I get lost in a paper bag.  It’s another reason why I don’t care for using the truck if I can avoid it. (Sounds like another list blog in the works)

Here’s what I learned from my first night ride out on my new scooter:

  • Always write down the number, level, and color of where you are parked in the Century City shopping center (wow what a maze) because if you thought finding a car was difficult, a bike is that much worse.
  • My full faced helmet will not fit in the trunk of my scooter.  So the likelihood you will see me pull up in one to an event later is pretty small.
  • Hot tattooed guys notice biker girls.  Especially redhead small ones with two extremely attractive women walking with them, regardless if they have a big jacket on or what.
  • U turns are really not that bad
  • Cars are annoying and they’re impatient.  That said, I’m glad I’m on my bike because it lets me get away with having to be less patient and at the same time more aware of my surroundings which will make me a better driver in my car.
  • going through cars is pretty exhilarating.
  • In a worst case scenario, you really don’t need to bother paying at those gates on a bike.
  • I know exactly who I can call in a worst case scenario at 12am to ask for directions or questions with my bike.  (Thank you Baron for helping me get home last night.  Sorry I fell asleep on the phone after I got home, but you can understand why.)
  • The ride might be quieter, but is amazing for reflecting.  Anytime I get down about anything I “pray” it isn’t raining.  I know where I will be… on the road on my bike taking a time out.
  • Getting lost is more cost effective on a bike.  Apparently I get 60 mpg and it cost me a whopping $4.04 to fill up in Beverly Hills.  That’s… well wonderful.

Sometimes in life you just have to get the courage to do things.  It might be scary at first, but that’s what life is really about in the end.  A little bit of fear when tapped on correctly will enhance the experience and make you stronger.  I’m going to learn this city just yet… and thankfully it won’t cost me a ton to do it 🙂

sail away sail away.. another day

 

holding on for another weekend

 

 

This is where I could be.

A friend of mine invited me to go sailing last weekend and this weekend.

I’ve never been sailing.

It’s on the list of things I’ve always wanted to do but never had the opportunity to.

I count myself fortunate to even have the option of doing something like that.

Given that I was laid off from EA yesterday, I took the day to focus and buckle down on job searching, paperwork, and program refreshing.  Ie: be responsible.

Who am I & what have I done with the old me?

I promise I’m not getting boring.  I guess this is what happens when you get older.

The List Blogs: Weekend summation

Here’s what I got accomplished this weekend:

  • Errands and personal business
  • Worked on resumes
  • Looked for new job leads
  • Drank with a friend in from San Diego
  • Watched 30 days of Night
  • Showed my friend Mirror’s Edge
  • Discussed my super secret project
  • Purchased some postcards
  • Ate grits at S &W
  • forgot that they only take cash
  • P aroused the internet some more for job leads
  • Talked to a couple of friends about work
  • Taught my son how to cheat in a video game
  • Applied to be on a game show
  • Studied for my motorcycle permit test
  • broke a dresser
  • Had chai with a new friend
  • Dumped a full camera’s worth of video onto my computer
  • Picked a flower
  • Walked 2 miles
  • Took a drive just because
  • Discovered some new music
  • Talked to a boy I like (that’s not a douchebag or a liar)
  • Ate cake
  • Created 8 bit art
  • Found a new place to hang out at
  • Talked to friends
  • Took pictures
  • Discussed further pictures to be taken
  • Read a bit of Transmetropolitan (trade #2)
  • oh and washed dishes finally.

Hurray for a full weekend!