chasing stars

He only comes out once a month.  The brightest star graces the sky.  But only for one midnight.  He is dangerous.  Cancerous.

With bright blue eyes and a past.  He walks with heavy steps and tries to hide it.

It’s obvious.  But she doesn’t care.

You are the memory I never want to

die

fade

disappear

It’s midnight a month later.  A month hath passed since that fateful night.  And not a bit has changed.  Yet everything has changed.

Questions.

A shower.

A proposition.

Hesitation.

A statement.

“I don’t want it to be a one night stand.”

“Let’s see what happens and that shall determine the later.”

“Fate”

he said, in words near and unspoken.

“Do you have a long coat?”

“I do.”

“Wear it.  Do you have lingerie?  Wear something nice underneath for when you greet me at the door.”

I rushed to my bathroom.  I scrubbed my shower meticulously.

I ransacked my drawers looking for them:

garters

Fishnet thigh high stockings

the bitty mesh halter brassiere with cherry blossom embroiderments

the sash to wrap around my waistline of the long black peacoat.

I wanted to look of perfection.  Of as much as I could without pushing it.

“I’m outside.”

I wasn’t shivering just because I was cold.

Lipstick.

Glasses.

Jacket.

Heels.

The wind blew across my ass as I raced outside.  The jacket was shorter than I’d remembered.

I tiptoed through the cobblestone courtyard holding back the schoolgirl giggling.

“Shh!” I whispered as I grabbed the tips of his fingers and escorted him back to my apartment.

I didn’t give him the chance to stare.  I forfeited that moment in the moonlight for another.

I wasn’t shivering just because I was cold.

I was to be his present.

He looked me over.  I lowered my head as he untied the sash.

“I thought you said you didn’t have any lingerie?”

“Was that you complaining?”

“Not at all.” he said.

I turned around as he…

I wasn’t shivering just because I was cold.

One midnight a month on the anniversary of the day…

a star comes out…

to frolic and play.

You are the memory I never want to

die

fade

disappear

I was nervous last night because I was afraid if you touched me…

when you touched me…

that it’d only reaffirm what I already knew.

I something thee.

My fantasy.

“My” star.