Super[flawed]Man

Super [flawed]Man

Today is supposed to be a happy day. It’s for celebration. It’s marveling at the amazement that is biology and much more.

It’s a day to remember the great things about our dads and grandfathers and the men in our lives that shaped us to the people we are- whether present or not.

Today is a hard day.

I called my grandfather to wish him Happy Fathers Day from me and my little line of ducklings/spawns. To be honest, I’m not really 100% sure how he was when he was in dad mode. I feel that perhaps I need to ask my family and him more about that part of his life… to find the stories beyond the pictures.

I think about how my grandfather didn’t finish college or even high school. Of how hard he worked (and still does) because of that choice… the rebel choice. You would have thought that by watching his struggles that I might not have wanted to repeat in his hardships. I did, however, in my own ways.

In the machine message I left thanking grandpa I told him that he got the fun parts with us… especially as grandpa. My memories with my grandfather are full of him being the savior and smile and source of inspiration that, well, my parents could never completely fulfill. I think about how much he and my grandmother have shaped my life and brought with it such amazing color and inspiration that…

And then there’s my dad.

Once upon a time my dad was my hero. I was this little girl (watch it with the comments people) with pigtails and missing teeth. My father brought so much laughter and silliness and color into my world too- from my dad’s dedication to Halloween first and then Christmas, to comic books, to… reels of Three Stooges. What I’m not supposed to talk about is how much pain was inspired by him.

As I got older I saw more about the corporate suit with the stable job that loved to laugh and read comic books. I saw the harsh realities of how stubborn he could be… of where I probably get it from. And then I remembered a bit about the joking around with my grandfather about how stubborn he is. It’s so much easier to look at the flaws of your dad vs your grandfather.

I look at the other men that have followed my dad as far as male figures. There is a saying that every girl looks for her dad in the men they date. I have dated some very intelligent, very die hard to their beliefs, colorful and quirky… assholes.

Ethan is currently with my dad right now. His father figure was a ghost of a man. His father… was the colorful bit of lies and laughter. And it’s all my fault. Ethan being with my dad is partially my dad stepping in to try and assume the “hero” role.  It is the same role that my great grandmother did for him ages ago when my grandparents fought (more than the usual laughable kind they do) But were these people really heros or…

Enter Maddox and Sakura’s father- my ex husband- and how he’s probably sitting pretty high on that horse thinking he is the greatest guy in the world… who stole my children. He too, would like people to think he is the hero. And, once upon a time, exhibited that same amount of compassion and silliness that my dad and grandfather did.

And now Little Bear’s dad… Little Bear’s dad was probably the closest thing to my grandfather ever.  Joshie Bear was like looking at a younger version of my favorite male role model in the world… complete with his faults. Josh’s spirit and ease of getting along with people and making friends everywhere.. that silly cheesiness… was why I fell in love with him and why when I first found out about Little Bear, although the timing was not “perfect” I was… really really happy.   Joshie Bear always wanted to be a dad. He never got to be and it broke his heart more than I could comprehend despite some of my super harsh remarks about the whole thing.

I know that today is supposed to be for these men… but perhaps it could be for this wish too. My wish, as I thank each of them for the good they did, is to please remember the bad that their fathers did as well. It’s so easy to look at the hero parts but to truly get past all of that, we have to acknowledge where they were flawed too… so that our kids will know and hopefully not repeat the same actions.

To all the great and not so great men of my life who have made a dedication to the purpose of not just being a donor or the hero but to being a DAD… an unselfish compassionate one, I salute you.

An ode to Super men

The man of steel celebrates a birthday today, and I must say he doesn’t look too shabby for a senior citizen.  Do you remember that issue?

I was a bit shocked to hear that my grandfather didn’t either.  But given that he was only 2 when it made its first debut, I think he can have a pass.

Comic books weren’t entirely foreign then, but I don’t think anyone knew just how popular they would become when this issue graced the stands that fateful day- June 1st, 1938.

Some of you may remember seeing this cover recently.  In Febuary the book was auctioned off online in a sale that gained the eyes of not only comic collectors, but the press and the world of entertainment alike.

Action Comics #1 is the world’s most valuable comic book, and it almost never happened. The creation American writer Jerry Siegel and Canadian artist Joe Shuster, the story was rejected numerous times before it was finally published in June 1938.

It’s phenomenal how the comic culture has boomed since then.  Superman is still going strong despite passing over to the dark side back in 1992.  This was the story arch that I really remembered most, as it hit shelves at the real start in my rise to diving into the comic book world.

In honor of the series, and a spin to the day, I want to take the time and tribute this piece to the Super Men that have been in my life.

What makes a Super man?

• A super man shows his superiority with their genuine care for humanity and for a person’s self worth.

Men are supposed to be strong individuals.  They are the ones that will build you up inwardly through encouragement, constructive criticism and devotion.  There does not have to be a romantic connection- I’ve gotten this from a number of super men in my life that I haven’t dated.

These are the men that take time to help give back to their communities in any way they possibly can- whether something small by donating items to goodwill to helping with a food kitchen to participation in charity events and fundraisers.

Real men wear capes

• Super men realize when something is important to you, and go out of their way to help you.

They drive to a different city 2 hrs out of the way to get you to bring you somewhere 30 minutes from you.  They loan you cars when you need something to find a job.  They keep an ear to the ground for leads and pass along work when they know someone needs it more.  They listen when you have to vent.

They help you figure out the solutions.  They empower you to reach further into yourself.  While a good guy will help you write that letter, the super man will help you write it yourself.

• Super men are passionate about their dreams and ambitions.

No matter how old they are, they never lose sight of the things that mean the world to them.  From stories like my grandfather’s love for flying his airplane despite crashing it and nearly dying, to pursuing that writing career in an industry that they’ve put so much time into but gotten little in return.

a day, a love, I'll never forget

• Super men are there for their families and friends.

They bring smiles to kids.  They have a never grow up mentality, but the maturity to manage high end jobs with ease.  They realize how important it is to have fun and be responsible at the same time.  They know how much little things like making sure you have birthday presents for your sons when you couldn’t otherwise afford it mean to everyone.

They’re there for you through the thick and thin.  They’re there when the bad things happen.  They’re there for you in the good.

They’re the ones that will be there for you, without question, at a moments notice when you call to tell them your car broke down in the rain, or that you ran out of gas on the way to a party. They’re the ones who push the envelope to do everything they can to support an entire household of friends to make ends meet because they know they have no where else to go.

• Super men make you smile buy merely existing.

They light up the room with their charisma.  They’re so brilliant in aura you tend to think its a mirage.  They are often the heart breakers.  They’re the ones you really need to watch out for.

Super men exist both in fairy tales and reality.   They’re not as uncommon as you’d think if you know where to look.  Every man is capable of being one.  Not all men are born to do this job.  It’s not an easy one.

Here’s an ode to all the super men I have in my my life.  You have no idea how much I’m thankful for you.