Rise and shine.

Dear diary,

Right now it seems more than ever I am being tested.  My demons of my past are surfacing.  My demons from the present are merging.  I am slaying dragons and am… still in the tower.  I am not the damsel in distress.  I’m fighting my way out.

On the horizon stands the most worthwhile prince this princess has ever encountered.  She fights not for the prince, but for herself.  She is the only one who can conquer them.  Weather the light at the end of the tunnel is joined by him, no one can be sure.  This is the real world and not a fairytale.  But wouldn’t it be grand if it ended up that way?

Last week, I entered a time machine.  It was a time I had nearly forgotten.  I reminisced down memory lane.  I strolled down the beach to gather myself once again.  This mermaid…

I contemplated life in the silence.  It used to bother me so.  It used to make my skin crawl.

Now?

There is far more music in the sound of nothingness than in anything else at all.  It is truly amazing.

And while its easy to find my way home to you… it’s not always easy to get there.  Sometimes I forget the way.  Sometimes I forget the days.  Sometimes, it seems that it’s easier to forget and walk away from those things that dare be unleashed once again.  It’s easier to pretend.  It’s easier…

But they’re still there when you turn around.

Home is the embodiment of the dance of emotion.

Of rise and shine to fall and shadow.

Demons within.  Demons around.  I am no longer afraid of you.

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Diving Back in: Muse for Hire Goes Overdrive

I have a confession to make.

I have been focusing more on my web series project (one that bloomed out of its parent project) more than I have the documentary for quite some time now.

My computer hit the max and I needed to get another hard drive.

Between that and a litany of other things, the project was more or less put on hold until… go figure, I was feeling a bit more inspiration.

That happened (another awakening if you will) at Comic Con and further more as it continued past.  And while a lot of the video I got at the con may not likely make the doc, it was what happened afterward that actually reminded me “get back on your project, it’s important.”

I do not believe in forcing art.  I am a purist of so many forms.  I want genuine pieces that I can be proud of.

I took a time out… perhaps a lot of that should have been on film.  Perhaps it wasn’t meant to.  It was not a great time for me.

And then the card came.

Cranes and.... subtleties

Cranes and.... subtleties

At the time, I honestly couldn’t tell you how many cranes I was at.  I was slacking and, well, hadn’t folded in months either.  And while I have quite a bit more than the ones shown here, I still haven’t made the mark just yet.

I got this near the day I had originally intended to finish the project- my soft deadline of August 6th- the 64th anniversary of the bomb dropping on Hiroshima: Peace Day.  I had failed but maybe… not just yet.

It was a sign in it’s simplest form sent directly to my doorstop.  As did… other things later.

Nonetheless, it’s time.  It’s not quite time… but…

Wise words from another world echo in the background.  They speak volumes in one short sentence- not written on the back of this card.

They may have just as well have been.

Time will tell.

Time will tell.

Time.

Will…

For now, I shall reach out…

for that muse…

for that…

Well, a girl can’t give everything away.  But the answer may not be what you think.