Techcrunch- the fast summation

830pm Sunday-Late start heading out.  They didn’t have the SUV ready till after 6.  Most of our group ended up flying out- so it was just 3 of us.  Thought I heard we were going up for a week.  Packed 1 bag with just coats & shoes. Didn’t need 80% of what I brought.

2am Monday- Arrive to in the castro district of SF to hot boy & a massage.  Guys had to drive back down to San Jose.  Get some sleep before the con.

7am-Decided against a friends advice on wearing the 3 pairs of heels in my bag.  I understand demo girls are supposed to look all hot and tall but for chrissakes I’m 4’11… heels aren’t doing much for me.

745am- Major hiroshima.  Something clears my bank too early.  Had to make some phone calls.  Dropped off at the con.

8am-Registration for Tc50.  They didn’t get my info right on the badge (my friend’s partner’s name was on it).  Have to stand in line to get it fixed. 20 mins.  Kevin Rose was sitting on the wall next to the line.  On the other side, some guy in rollerblades.  Ah yes, welcome to San Francisco.

9am- Demo pit time.  Jeff is even more awesome in person.  Seriously I couldn’t have had it better.  He made an educational microblogging platform for teachers and students that protects privacy integrity and helps in the classroom.  I’m so glad I was able to help try and get a VC for a product I actually believed in.

11am- Get stopped and asked to visit someone’s booth in the demo pit.  Tell them I will tomorrow.

throughout the day- When I wasn’t helping Jeff I got to look at a lot of the other demos.  Jeff smokes so fast it’s like they’re flash paper cigarettes.  I think of that scene in Romy & Michelle.  “Twice the taste in half the time for the gal on the go..” Met some awesome people.

7pm?- VIP Party.  Oh so that’s where all the good food is.  Met some more awesome people.  Lots of sexual tension with one guy there.  Friend asked if I’d slept with the guy yet (no its not anyone in these pix.)

9pm- Looking for the Myspace party with Brooks and Joe.  It’s not in the best area.  My purse (Jimmy Hoffa) is full of schwag.  I tell them they need to be my bullet shield.  They tell me that I’m theirs.

11pm- Myspace VIP.  Ended up on Wired Image. Woman tells me I look like Jamie Lynn Presley.  I feel extremely flattered.

12am- Can’t find the crew to walk with me 1.5 blocks to a muni to go to my friends.  Call my friend Dan, who called my friend Chris.  By that time though I had already ended up getting a ride from a pair of wonderful strangers from SF.

1am- Massage. Sleep.

Day 2:

8am- Early day at the con.  Not in the demo pit today.  So got to walk around the whole time.  Met some more awesome people.

9am- See they misspelled my name on Wired Image.  Not enough time to correct it.  Also that the grip had written me a 2 page email last night.  Awww.

10am- Stopped by a woman to ask me where my shoes came from.  A few of the women loved them and wanted to know.  Awesome.

11am- Stop over and visit the demo booth I’d promised. Tried to win a kindle or an iphone.  Won neither.  Put my name in a drawing to win the iphone anyway.

3pm- Stop and check out (it spell checks your websites).  The words that came up in my blog on his demo made him blush.  “So.. these are some interesting words, what exactly do you blog about?”

throughout the day- Walking around a lot with the fabulous Wm. Marc Salsberry.  Met some awesome people.  Hung out a bit with my friend Dan.

7pm- Dinner with the LA crew.  Met some awesome people from SF and NY as well.  Tell a few people about my blog and some really personal info regarding a book I’m also writing.

730pm- Was snuck aside.  The most awesome cards from a bathroom ever.

8pm- Pitch Party at House of Shields.  Worst startup pitch you can think of in 50 seconds.  Winner gets 50 bux.  Also theres a booby prize- the Calscanis cup (a jock strap) & a mahalo hat signed by Calscanis for the most arrogant pitch.

815pm- I guess I accidently tweet instead of brightkited that I was there.  Someone I met at tc50 saw my tweet & was a few blocks away so he stopped in to say hello.  Um.. weird.

830pm- Someone I know on twitter and have talked to on ims is at the bar.  He’s MUCH shorter than he seemed in pictures and what not.  Suddenly everything makes sense now.

9pm- Party starts.  Friends from the LA crew came out: Andy, Mandy, and Oz.  Was crowded but alot of fun.

10pm- Winners announced.  Best/worst pitch… a site devoted to giving carbon credits for successful emo kids committing suicide.

1230am-  My friend realizes the parking garage closed at midnight.  He’d left his laptop in the trunk.  One more thing to worry about in the morning.  End up taking the muni back to his place.

130am- Massage. Sleep.

Day 3-

7am- Try to coordinate a ride to the REHAB party so I don’t have to carry my luggage into the con.  Friends are staying across the street.  Still doesn’t happen.

9am- Say my goodbyes to my friend.  End up cabbing it to the REHAB party for Mimosas and chat.  Met some very rad people.

10am- Limo service with Brooks to Tc50 courtesy of the Rubicon project.  Should’ve grabbed a schwag bag.  Had too much crap to carry as it was.

1pm- Found out I won that drawing.  I was given a $325 gift card to the Apple store for my iphone.  Fucking win.  I’m thinking about saving it and getting a lappy with it later.

130pm- See the grip had written me another email.  Aww.  And the angels are in the end season.  Rock on.   Someone sees me glowing.  Too bad for them.

215pm- Trying to track someone down for an interview with Techzulu.  Find him.  Can’t find the friend.

3pm- Watch them interview said person.  Spot McHammer.  Didn’t recognize him without the parachute pants.

330pm- Watch the social networking session set.  Social networking site for bird watchers?!  Wasn’t that at the pitch party last night?  Fall in love with Closet Couture.  Presentation for Causecast looked crisp.  Met an awesome gal.

530pm-  Make a few silly videos about an energy drink we all got.  Laughing hysterically.

7pm- Yahoo TC50 afterparty.  Yum Yahootinis.  Glowy blocks in the drinks.

730pm- Nunya.

830pm- Skip the Seesmic party and head home.

11pm- Lots of joking in the car. “Temptress stories!”  New nicknames.  “When you pee is it like a watergun or a supersoaker?” “What’s an upperdecker?”

230am- Weird text messages from a boy.  And yet he calls me the weird one? Um.

245am- Messages from the grip.  Tell him to call.  Signal sucks where we are.  Tell him to hurry up and phone sex me.  Phone signal dies instantly.  Lame.  Text messages.  So fucking adorable.

7am- Finally force myself to sleep after lots of naughty talk with the grip.

And that concludes a basic rundown of Techcrunch 50, minus the raves about all the details of the startups I’m excited about. More later.