Tag, you’re an asshole!

Taken from a conversation this morning with my friend from Australia of nearly 2 yrs now.  All of what is said below is meant entirely for comedic purposes… and are not the normal frame of the website.  These posts are going to be all changed to a different site as soon as I get a redirect accomplished.

Reader discretion is advised.

Scandalous says:

its 8am here

Scandalous says:

and i havent slept

Scandalous says:

i:

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

:-O

Scandalous says:

went to martial arts class

Scandalous says:

then came here

Scandalous says:

and i had to move shit around my apt

Scandalous says:

well my friend ended up doing most of it

Scandalous says:

but i was directing!

Scandalous says:

>__<

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

nicely played

Scandalous says:

and i have it on video

Scandalous says:

dude

Scandalous says:

oh wait back up

Scandalous says:

martial arts

Scandalous says:

then chinese food

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

chinese is awesome

Scandalous says:

then hed never had chai

Scandalous says:

so i took his chai virginity

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

lol

Scandalous says:

he ended up getting some pink frappachino thing tho

Scandalous says:

and i got it on videotape

Scandalous says:

its awesome

Scandalous says:

<–asshole

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

😛

Scandalous says:

lets see

Scandalous says:

oh before he got there

Scandalous says:

i went to the bank

Scandalous says:

i had to deal with my arch nemesis

Scandalous says:

stick up her ass teller chick

Scandalous says:

with an ego complex

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

fiendish

Scandalous says:

she made me stand in the long line

Scandalous says:

which im going to fix on another sat

Scandalous says:

im going to get a business account

Scandalous says:

which apparently is free anyway

Scandalous says:

it just means

Scandalous says:

really short line

Scandalous says:

and get as much cash as you want etc

Scandalous says:

and not have to deal with:

Scandalous says:

Scandalous says:

stick up her ass teller chick

Scandalous says:

with an ego complex

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

hehehe

Scandalous says:

bc i can stand in a different line

Scandalous says:

and say fuuuuuuckk youuu

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

make sure to give her the multiple bird

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

you know

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

both hands, pumping up

—

(im not that immature, though really this chick deserves.. to be smiled at which is likely all thats going to happen)

—–

Scandalous says:

oh lets see.. there was also foreign GUY with a beard wearing ugg boots

Scandalous says:

*cringes*

Scandalous says:

i couldnt get the gd camera on my cell to take a pic ofc

Scandalous says:

it failed

Scandalous says:

i even got a second chance

Scandalous says:

when he walked away so i couldnt get a shot anymore

Scandalous says:

my camera on the phone decided to work

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

perhaps your phone dislikes foreigners

Scandalous says:

THATS OK bc later i saw some woman with like 2 11 yr old girls .. maybe 8 or 9 tho

Scandalous says:

BOTH WEARING UGG BOOTS

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

wtf

Scandalous says:

i got video of me saying shes abusing her kids

——

(*lady was not abusing her kids.. and joking about or doing child abuse isn’t a funny matter at all. This is about the boots. Heal the world. Make it a better place. Do whatever you want fashion wise, but leave the damn kids out of it. They don’t know any better)

———-

Scandalous says:

and didnt get their faces

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

i apologise for providing ugg boots to your nation

——-

(^^see this screenname? Feel free to give him all your grieving about his disservice to our American nation… for once it wasn’t Canada. It was an Aussie. *this blog does not have any problem with either the country of Canada or Australia. I mean, I’m an American, so I have plenty of help in making the greater bad of the human race by default. Oh and hi big brother. What’s up?)

——-

Scandalous says:

by allowing/making them wear those

Scandalous says:

YEAH

Scandalous says:

thats right

Scandalous says:

TY!!!

Scandalous says:

now whos the asshole?

Scandalous says:

horray not it!

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

oh snap, it’s me

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

yeah down here they’re slippers

Scandalous says:

ahem!

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

not for outside wearing

Scandalous says:

http://scandalous.tumblr.com/post/79874514/i-just-got-told

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

i just got told

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

oh snap

Scandalous says:

oh snap!

Scandalous says:

pwned

Scandalous says:

haha

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

=/

Scandalous says:

well its funny where im sitting

Scandalous says:

sux to be you though

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

was a mock =/

Scandalous says:

gdit

Scandalous says:

im the asshole again

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

😛

Scandalous says:

jerk!

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

hahaha

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

s’ok you’re not an asshole

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

you’re just fun!

——–

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

i’m doing all the work for you

Scandalous says:

not that i dont want to

Scandalous says:

but.. well yeah

Scandalous says:

laughing at someones expense?

Scandalous says:

but hey!

Scandalous says:

youre someone!

Scandalous says:

thats got to count for something right?

Scandalous says:

=x

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

it must do!

Scandalous says:

❤

So there you have it.  A healthy game of tag football you’re an asshole.  But seriously, you should instant message my friend Rabbit if you’re on hotmail. He’s awesome and I feel like I’ve neglected him a bit by not being on MSN in ages.  Oh and I owe him a blog.. which is in the works so stay tuned. (I promise its not an asshole one)

And now it’s time for me to force some winks.  Happy Sunday everyone.

Cracks the whip

The inspiration for tonight’s early morning tale was inspired by the following tweet by the lady-fair @avflox:

It made me chuckle for obvious reasons… more than you know.

I come from a very conservative Catholic family background. I am the cliche “Catholic school-girl-gone-bad.” My mother “has only slept with 2 people in [her] life, and married both of them!” She has called me promiscuous but denied calling me a slut. I told her that when she wants to try and use big vocabulary like that, she may want to consider looking at a thesaurus if only to make sure she was saying what she truly wanted. I know she had to have known its synonymous with slut and said it intentionally but was trying to patronize me.

I like to consider myself a bit of a modernist. My mother calls it “free love” for the new age. I guess to a degree that she’s partially right.

Mom and I have had a few discussions about her displeasure with me being this way… the habitually dating, the alternative lifestyle, the bi-sexuality, etcetera, etcetera. If only she knew more about the aka. Actually, I think it’s better that she doesn’t. The last detail was enough for both her and dad (who never agree on anything) to agree on something. I’m glad I could be that one thing. Even if they don’t necessarily view it in a positive level.

The coming out stories separately were about the same. My parents reacted in the best possible matter.. totally ridiculously.

Dad’s story was pretty tame. I forget why and when it actually came out about me being bi, but I do remember it was post high school. He found out later, so it probably affected him less. In high school, I was a bit of a difficult pill to swallow… but more so for my mom because I was stuck living with her against my will- making for some very angsty teenage book fodder.

When dad heard, he honestly didn’t believe it. I think he really just thought it was some sort of attention seeking thing or some outright lie. I am my dad’s favorite. Never in his eyes, could he ever view me as negatively as he does the gay culture.

Even when I had a steady serious girlfriend, I’d ask dad “So when are you going to believe me? I’m not kidding about this.” Dad said “It’s just a phase…”

Poor dad. He’s still holding his breath for me to be over that phase.

Mom though? She’s actually completely accepted it now. It’s not something she views as positive. However, nothing that I do is positive in my mother’s eyes.. so it makes perfect sense to her coming from me.

One night, she had to pick me up from being out on another all nighter with a friend I had been forbidden to hang out with. It was a long, crazy night and it ended up in a car accident.

My friends and I were alright. We had been out all night and went to a doughnut shop early in the morning. Two of the guys were being asinine to the owner, and he threatened to call the cops. We left in a rush, and when Rachel was going to turn onto the main street, she didn’t see the truck, so it t-boned us. It was standard for everyone in an accident to be checked by an ambulance or have our parents sign off on it.

Rachel’s mom got a call. She saw me and her daughter in the back of an ambulance. We both were “scantily clad”- me in black combat boots, fishnets, short shorts and some low cut top. Mom was called and had come to get me. She was livid. I was in deep shit.

The usual dialogue started “What did I ever go wrong with you…” “There’s nothing majorly traumatic that’s happened to you.. I just don’t get it…”

I told her 2 major things that had happened. Apparently she had been oblivious to them. However, it still wasn’t cracking anything. She continued on this tangent. Finally, I told her the one thing that I knew she likely wouldn’t pick up on. I told her about how I had been interested in a couple of girls from school and from a coffee shop I regularly hung out at.

“I’m bi mom. I like girls too.. ”

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. But then my mom looked at me seriously and started to bitch “You mean you like to lick cunts and put your face in pussy?!”

At 17, I responded the only natural way one could: “Stop it mom, you’re turning me on thinking about those girls…”

She didn’t find it funny. Still doesn’t to this day. Me? I couldn’t have asked for a better response actually. I guess the sadistic side is showing a bit now. Ooops 😉