Tag, you’re an asshole!

Taken from a conversation this morning with my friend from Australia of nearly 2 yrs now.  All of what is said below is meant entirely for comedic purposes… and are not the normal frame of the website.  These posts are going to be all changed to a different site as soon as I get a redirect accomplished.

Reader discretion is advised.

Scandalous says:

its 8am here

Scandalous says:

and i havent slept

Scandalous says:

i:

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

:-O

Scandalous says:

went to martial arts class

Scandalous says:

then came here

Scandalous says:

and i had to move shit around my apt

Scandalous says:

well my friend ended up doing most of it

Scandalous says:

but i was directing!

Scandalous says:

>__<

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

nicely played

Scandalous says:

and i have it on video

Scandalous says:

dude

Scandalous says:

oh wait back up

Scandalous says:

martial arts

Scandalous says:

then chinese food

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

chinese is awesome

Scandalous says:

then hed never had chai

Scandalous says:

so i took his chai virginity

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

lol

Scandalous says:

he ended up getting some pink frappachino thing tho

Scandalous says:

and i got it on videotape

Scandalous says:

its awesome

Scandalous says:

<–asshole

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

😛

Scandalous says:

lets see

Scandalous says:

oh before he got there

Scandalous says:

i went to the bank

Scandalous says:

i had to deal with my arch nemesis

Scandalous says:

stick up her ass teller chick

Scandalous says:

with an ego complex

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

fiendish

Scandalous says:

she made me stand in the long line

Scandalous says:

which im going to fix on another sat

Scandalous says:

im going to get a business account

Scandalous says:

which apparently is free anyway

Scandalous says:

it just means

Scandalous says:

really short line

Scandalous says:

and get as much cash as you want etc

Scandalous says:

and not have to deal with:

Scandalous says:

Scandalous says:

stick up her ass teller chick

Scandalous says:

with an ego complex

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

hehehe

Scandalous says:

bc i can stand in a different line

Scandalous says:

and say fuuuuuuckk youuu

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

make sure to give her the multiple bird

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

you know

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

both hands, pumping up

(im not that immature, though really this chick deserves.. to be smiled at which is likely all thats going to happen)

—–

Scandalous says:

oh lets see.. there was also foreign GUY with a beard wearing ugg boots

Scandalous says:

*cringes*

Scandalous says:

i couldnt get the gd camera on my cell to take a pic ofc

Scandalous says:

it failed

Scandalous says:

i even got a second chance

Scandalous says:

when he walked away so i couldnt get a shot anymore

Scandalous says:

my camera on the phone decided to work

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

perhaps your phone dislikes foreigners

Scandalous says:

THATS OK bc later i saw some woman with like 2 11 yr old girls .. maybe 8 or 9 tho

Scandalous says:

BOTH WEARING UGG BOOTS

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

wtf

Scandalous says:

i got video of me saying shes abusing her kids

——

(*lady was not abusing her kids.. and joking about or doing child abuse isn’t a funny matter at all. This is about the boots. Heal the world. Make it a better place. Do whatever you want fashion wise, but leave the damn kids out of it. They don’t know any better)

———-

Scandalous says:

and didnt get their faces

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

i apologise for providing ugg boots to your nation


——-

(^^see this screenname? Feel free to give him all your grieving about his disservice to our American nation… for once it wasn’t Canada. It was an Aussie. *this blog does not have any problem with either the country of Canada or Australia. I mean, I’m an American, so I have plenty of help in making the greater bad of the human race by default. Oh and hi big brother. What’s up?)

——-

Scandalous says:

by allowing/making them wear those

Scandalous says:

YEAH

Scandalous says:

thats right

Scandalous says:

TY!!!

Scandalous says:

now whos the asshole?

Scandalous says:

horray not it!

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

oh snap, it’s me

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

yeah down here they’re slippers

Scandalous says:

ahem!

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

not for outside wearing

Scandalous says:

http://scandalous.tumblr.com/post/79874514/i-just-got-told

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

i just got told

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

oh snap

Scandalous says:

oh snap!

Scandalous says:

pwned

Scandalous says:

haha

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

=/

Scandalous says:

well its funny where im sitting

Scandalous says:

sux to be you though

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

was a mock =/

Scandalous says:

gdit

Scandalous says:

im the asshole again

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

😛

Scandalous says:

jerk!

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

hahaha

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

s’ok you’re not an asshole

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

you’re just fun!

——–

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

i’m doing all the work for you

Scandalous says:

not that i dont want to

Scandalous says:

but.. well yeah

Scandalous says:

laughing at someones expense?

Scandalous says:

but hey!

Scandalous says:

youre someone!

Scandalous says:

thats got to count for something right?

Scandalous says:

=x

NTRabbit, The Unseen Nomad says:

it must do!

Scandalous says:

So there you have it.  A healthy game of tag football you’re an asshole.  But seriously, you should instant message my friend Rabbit if you’re on hotmail. He’s awesome and I feel like I’ve neglected him a bit by not being on MSN in ages.  Oh and I owe him a blog.. which is in the works so stay tuned. (I promise its not an asshole one)

And now it’s time for me to force some winks.  Happy Sunday everyone.

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My weekend 2.23.9

Had a great non regrettable, but regretable weekend.

Scratch that.

No regrets.

I don’t regret any of it.

I’m forever thankful of the people that I have come across.

The only thing that I’m disappointed about…

was not the part where I vomited in front of you last night.

But not having enough room on my camcorder to fully document the most amazing time that we had.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

for all that you’ve done for me.

Wonderful people.  Wonderful friends.

Lots of video to pull off my camcorder later.

Highlights of this weekend (to be written about later):

  • Coraline in 3d with my son (it was the last weekend to see it that way)
  • San Diego Tweetup with Mo in tow
  • Getting my “other” best friend on camera saying that he’s” not that smart” (btw that made the trip worth it just there. 4 seconds of taping
  • More encouragement to play my violin
  • finding a new watering hole in a nook somewhere in WeHo
  • meeting a new wonderful person (so wonderful they put up with my vomitface last night/this morning)

and, more to come later

But wow what a great weekend!

I’ve decided:

  • I need to make a point to get home more often
  • I really shouldn’t drink more than one drink on a 2nd “date”
  • I really should throw a fundraiser for my documentary project

I was reassurred that:

  • My son is the most important thing in the world
  • I have some amazing people in my life
  • I am capable of amazing things if I only just DO them
  • I put the crass in procrastinator & I really should hurry up & get the hell out of here and get to work even though my truck smells like vomit.
  • kk thnx bai

Project Reorganization:The Balancing Act, episode 1

Once upon a time

In a galaxy.. not so far away…

(Hell I oftentimes feel like Los Angeles is another galaxy after living in San Diego, so give me a break!)

There once was a girl who

Was a bit of a socialite.

Perhaps too much.

And while the parties were grand and the people wonderful… for some reason, it just wasn’t enough.  She just wasn’t enough.

And then something happened.

Something remarkable.

Something that you really cannot truly explain with mere answers.

It just was was what it was.

Into the rabbit holes she entered and just as quickly returned.

Of heartache and levity and realization.

Realizing that everything she ever knew was wrong.

Realizing that it was also right.

She pushed further.

She pushed harder.

She changed the cards of her destiny.

Perhaps she was always meant to.

Perhaps they were all always waiting for that day.

She arrived at the destination

and found it was merely the beginning of the journey.

Today was like every other day.

But there is no day like today.

House

Dear Mr House,

Last night was supposed to be a special romantic evening.  Even though we all joked, I couldn’t have been more thankful for it than I was.  I felt really bad.  I honestly did.  About the rain and your physical ailments.  But you coming over turned into a catalyst.  One that I really hope is not completely soured.

This is a really bad time of the year for me.  Blogs that have not been finished line the tales as to why.  Things mostly unsaid- except to a few-including yourself.

I paid a good deed forward last night.

And yet, I feel terrible.

Ladies-

Do you ever wish to be ugly?  Just one day, out of the blue- you just wake up from this dream world of beauty, and suddenly every man ignores you.  Your problems with men magically fade away as you enter the world of friend zones and rejection.

Sometimes I think my life would be easier.  Though I don’t wish for it at all.

“Why?  Why God did you curse me with this beautiful face…”-a Knight’s Tale

When it all felt like it was falling apart, I grabbed my jacket to walk him out, and my phone by instinct.  I scrolled my contacts and found your picture.  I held it tight and nearly fainted from the tears I was holding back.

Im an idiot.

Scene:

He texts me “I’m in your base, cooking you foodz.”

And I giggled on the way out of work.  Excited. Happy.  I was looking forward to this all day.  To romance and beyond.  Of all that cheesy crap women-yes even strong women- wish for (but don’t want to admit for fear it will make them look weak.)

Scene:  I’m pulling out of the parking lot with my carpool in tow and he comes to my window.  It was shitty out and he rides a bike.  He carried a cane.  Had been hit by a car this weekend by an illegal.  He was in desperate need of a razor.

So when he asked me if he could spend a little time at my place till it cleared up, I did what any real friend would do.  I made room for him in the truck and brought him home. He’d be over a little while.  I’d make sure he was comfortable if we wanted our alone time.  The grip and I would make do.

I couldnt tell him no, but what if I hadmaybe

Scene: 4am I awoke from nightmares. He and her were going to make it right he told me as he let me go.  She gave him everything he wanted- a family- something that i could have easily given him & he wanted me to.

But I didnt

Scene: I arrived home with House in tow.  Honey in the kitchen, cooking up a storm.  It smelled wonderful.  It’s something I haven’t had in ages.  Take away the mess of my apartment.  Take House out of the picture.  Turn the clock back to that golden era.  A modern twist… it was… divine.  There really is something to be said about that whole “Leave it to Beaver” lifestyle.  I didn’t have this a year ago.  I didn’t appreciate it when I was married. Maybe it really is about the person you’re with… as much as what it is they do for you inside.

It was supposed to be our moment.

Scene:  We drove House back to his bike.  Joked about the grip enjoying borrowing Moms hybrid without asking while they were on vacation.  The Oprah magazine.  The dalmation puppy keychain.  The magnet address book (unwritten in) from San Francisco.  The angel prayer pin above her drivers seat. Tissues everywhere.  Mom’s gardening hat…

Me: “Oh look I’m a Mexican!”

Him: “Mom wears that out in public to nice places too. Shut up.”

Me: “So how weird would it be if I wore it when we fucked?  Would you call me Mommy?”

I put the hat on.

Me: “What about road head?  In your parents car where your mom sits.. Would that be alright?”  He smiled, rolled his eyes and blushed.

Him: “Jerk.”

Scene: Driving home. Him: Ah FINALLY some alone time.

And I smiled. Ran my fingers through his hair.

It was supposed to be our moment.

Scene:  He smiled through it all and made do.  Made another plate and brought it to the table.  Asked what we wanted to drink.  Poured himself another glass of cheap scotch.

I asked if there was anything in particular that they wanted to watch. Ok, so I may have only really hinted at it.

“My character is really fat on Fable 2. Wanna run me around a bit?”

I was only halfway joking.

Instead, we watched Disc 3.

“Oh honey I took a test with “What Madmen character are you?”” I said giddily.  “Guess who I got?”

He smiled.  I turned to House.

“Have you ever seen Madmen? It’s my latest late obsession?”

House:”No. What is it?”

Me:”My favorite character… she’s so me, or.. wait that sounds bad. Ha.”

The grip smiled again as he finished in the kitchen.

The grip:”What do you want to drink dear?”

Me:”I’m not sure. There isn’t milk for a white russian. Sadness.”

I turned back to House.

Me:”It’s got the chick from Firefly in it…the redhead.”

House:”Which one?”

Me:”The hot one.”

The grip:”Saffron.”

House raised his eyebrows.  I smiled and clicked away at the remote.

It was supposed to be our moment.

Scene: He turned the corner.  Our conversation did the same.  Pivoted on that untimely exit because Fate knows no bounds.  She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Potential. Dismissal.  Things I cannot say.  Territory that in some respects, I likely shouldn’t be treading in. But I pressed just the same.

It was supposed to be our moment.

Scene: We got home and laid in bed.  The stories like ribbons flitting in the wind.  And he held me.  Under paper lanterns I pointed up.

“See that? Stars.” I said as I held him close.

And there was passion.  Unforced. Unselfish.  Genuine passion.  Because he made it feel like home that night.  He was my home that night.

It was supposed to be our moment.

Scene: And now the stack of comic books lie on top of a box outside my room.  His set of keys on my dresser again. But this time not on accident.  He took 2 books with him.  Refused to take any of the rest.  And in the wake of his absence I can still feel the silence.

Scene: Fifteen minutes until 8am.  I’m still not dressed. I haven’t slept at all.  Held company with a dark prince- a friend- a.. I don’t know what he is anymore.  All I can think about is you.  Of how hurtful everything I said- albeit truthful-hurt you.  And once again, I worry about the status of my non relationship.

Last night I drove a friend home.  I had good intentions.

I paid a good deed forward last night.

And yet, I feel terrible.

Why? Because…

It was supposed to be our moment.

Techcrunch- the fast summation

830pm Sunday-Late start heading out.  They didn’t have the SUV ready till after 6.  Most of our group ended up flying out- so it was just 3 of us.  Thought I heard we were going up for a week.  Packed 1 bag with just coats & shoes. Didn’t need 80% of what I brought.

2am Monday- Arrive to in the castro district of SF to hot boy & a massage.  Guys had to drive back down to San Jose.  Get some sleep before the con.

7am-Decided against a friends advice on wearing the 3 pairs of heels in my bag.  I understand demo girls are supposed to look all hot and tall but for chrissakes I’m 4’11… heels aren’t doing much for me.

745am- Major hiroshima.  Something clears my bank too early.  Had to make some phone calls.  Dropped off at the con.

8am-Registration for Tc50.  They didn’t get my info right on the badge (my friend’s partner’s name was on it).  Have to stand in line to get it fixed. 20 mins.  Kevin Rose was sitting on the wall next to the line.  On the other side, some guy in rollerblades.  Ah yes, welcome to San Francisco.

9am- Demo pit time.  Jeff is even more awesome in person.  Seriously I couldn’t have had it better.  He made an educational microblogging platform for teachers and students that protects privacy integrity and helps in the classroom.  I’m so glad I was able to help try and get a VC for a product I actually believed in.

11am- Get stopped and asked to visit someone’s booth in the demo pit.  Tell them I will tomorrow.

throughout the day- When I wasn’t helping Jeff I got to look at a lot of the other demos.  Jeff smokes so fast it’s like they’re flash paper cigarettes.  I think of that scene in Romy & Michelle.  “Twice the taste in half the time for the gal on the go..” Met some awesome people.

7pm?- VIP Party.  Oh so that’s where all the good food is.  Met some more awesome people.  Lots of sexual tension with one guy there.  Friend asked if I’d slept with the guy yet (no its not anyone in these pix.)

9pm- Looking for the Myspace party with Brooks and Joe.  It’s not in the best area.  My purse (Jimmy Hoffa) is full of schwag.  I tell them they need to be my bullet shield.  They tell me that I’m theirs.

11pm- Myspace VIP.  Ended up on Wired Image. Woman tells me I look like Jamie Lynn Presley.  I feel extremely flattered.

12am- Can’t find the crew to walk with me 1.5 blocks to a muni to go to my friends.  Call my friend Dan, who called my friend Chris.  By that time though I had already ended up getting a ride from a pair of wonderful strangers from SF.

1am- Massage. Sleep.

Day 2:

8am- Early day at the con.  Not in the demo pit today.  So got to walk around the whole time.  Met some more awesome people.

9am- See they misspelled my name on Wired Image.  Not enough time to correct it.  Also that the grip had written me a 2 page email last night.  Awww.

10am- Stopped by a woman to ask me where my shoes came from.  A few of the women loved them and wanted to know.  Awesome.

11am- Stop over and visit the demo booth I’d promised. Tried to win a kindle or an iphone.  Won neither.  Put my name in a drawing to win the iphone anyway.

3pm- Stop and check out Spellr.us (it spell checks your websites).  The words that came up in my blog on his demo made him blush.  “So.. these are some interesting words, what exactly do you blog about?”

throughout the day- Walking around a lot with the fabulous Wm. Marc Salsberry.  Met some awesome people.  Hung out a bit with my friend Dan.

7pm- Dinner with the LA crew.  Met some awesome people from SF and NY as well.  Tell a few people about my blog and some really personal info regarding a book I’m also writing.

730pm- Was snuck aside.  The most awesome cards from a bathroom ever.

8pm- Pitch Party at House of Shields.  Worst startup pitch you can think of in 50 seconds.  Winner gets 50 bux.  Also theres a booby prize- the Calscanis cup (a jock strap) & a mahalo hat signed by Calscanis for the most arrogant pitch.

815pm- I guess I accidently tweet instead of brightkited that I was there.  Someone I met at tc50 saw my tweet & was a few blocks away so he stopped in to say hello.  Um.. weird.

830pm- Someone I know on twitter and have talked to on ims is at the bar.  He’s MUCH shorter than he seemed in pictures and what not.  Suddenly everything makes sense now.

9pm- Party starts.  Friends from the LA crew came out: Andy, Mandy, and Oz.  Was crowded but alot of fun.

10pm- Winners announced.  Best/worst pitch… a site devoted to giving carbon credits for successful emo kids committing suicide.

1230am-  My friend realizes the parking garage closed at midnight.  He’d left his laptop in the trunk.  One more thing to worry about in the morning.  End up taking the muni back to his place.

130am- Massage. Sleep.

Day 3-

7am- Try to coordinate a ride to the REHAB party so I don’t have to carry my luggage into the con.  Friends are staying across the street.  Still doesn’t happen.

9am- Say my goodbyes to my friend.  End up cabbing it to the REHAB party for Mimosas and chat.  Met some very rad people.

10am- Limo service with Brooks to Tc50 courtesy of the Rubicon project.  Should’ve grabbed a schwag bag.  Had too much crap to carry as it was.

1pm- Found out I won that drawing.  I was given a $325 gift card to the Apple store for my iphone.  Fucking win.  I’m thinking about saving it and getting a lappy with it later.

130pm- See the grip had written me another email.  Aww.  And the angels are in the end season.  Rock on.   Someone sees me glowing.  Too bad for them.

215pm- Trying to track someone down for an interview with Techzulu.  Find him.  Can’t find the friend.

3pm- Watch them interview said person.  Spot McHammer.  Didn’t recognize him without the parachute pants.

330pm- Watch the social networking session set.  Social networking site for bird watchers?!  Wasn’t that at the pitch party last night?  Fall in love with Closet Couture.  Presentation for Causecast looked crisp.  Met an awesome gal.

530pm-  Make a few silly videos about an energy drink we all got.  Laughing hysterically.

7pm- Yahoo TC50 afterparty.  Yum Yahootinis.  Glowy blocks in the drinks.

730pm- Nunya.

830pm- Skip the Seesmic party and head home.

11pm- Lots of joking in the car. “Temptress stories!”  New nicknames.  “When you pee is it like a watergun or a supersoaker?” “What’s an upperdecker?”

230am- Weird text messages from a boy.  And yet he calls me the weird one? Um.

245am- Messages from the grip.  Tell him to call.  Signal sucks where we are.  Tell him to hurry up and phone sex me.  Phone signal dies instantly.  Lame.  Text messages.  So fucking adorable.

7am- Finally force myself to sleep after lots of naughty talk with the grip.

And that concludes a basic rundown of Techcrunch 50, minus the raves about all the details of the startups I’m excited about. More later.

A most awesome non comment

Saturday night’s response to the shenanigans was followed up by an email, in which the correspondence I felt deserving of an entry in itself. It’s awesome in that whole “puke a rainbow” sense of the way.

Enjoy:

Well-written.
But I was one of two white knights at the party?! I feel like such a number. 🙂
Your adventures and thoughts are both amusing and touching. You live out things I completely imagine. So no, I would say your life is not all fantasy. At least from this box seat.

It’s good to know you, and I look forward to getting to know you more.


For the record-
Being a number of being awesome is still a line I’d like to be in.
Just saying.

And INDEED it was sooo appreciated. Sincerely.
I’m glad that you enjoyed my post. I am midst another right now. This one involving a lot of breasts. ha.

I like to think of myself as a full sensory experience, because that’s how I go about my life.
Babies aren’t always happy just because they can poop their pants at will.
They view everything as fresh because they don’t know any different.
Everytime I do something it is a new adventure. I don’t care if I’m going to that same gas station to get gas or I’m on a first date. It’s the same thing in my mind.

Life was made for living.
I know.
I died when I was married.

It’s good to be alive again. Perhaps someday I’ll meet my prince charming. Whomever that may be. But kissing frogs is kind of fun too.

And now I have to write an email to someone from ::redacted:: to tell them sure they can give me a job, but no i will not sleep with them to get it.
Don’t you love adulthood sometimes?

~j.

Ps the breasts post will come. Be patient. Read that anyway you want to =)

A dark horse and a dark knight

Today was another day of virtual unplugging.  Three nights of partying.  Two major social media events, and one friend’s birthday party.

I really didn’t want to drink much yesterday.  I sipped on Bailey’s and Lambic.  Smoked cigarettes and was not my normal socialite self.  I did talk, but it wasn’t the same.  And although a handful of people at last nights party were friends, many were plastic.  It just wasn’t my scene.

I messaged the dark horse and Big.  Big’s response was silent.. as normal.  He had sent a response at the last party- agreeing with me.  But nothing last night.

The dark horse was my escape.  We exchanged texts for a few minutes before he passed out.  He really is.. genuine.

My best friend called while at the party.  She’d gotten into a car accident.  The police, after looking at the wreckage of her Camry, said she should have died.  A tear ran down my cheek.  I was ready to go home.

There was a burlesque dancer and the party was raging.  I wished that I could have enjoyed it more.  But my mind was far away.. on a million other things.

Dan sobered up and we left the party.  I insisted that the beach be on the agenda before a planned trip with friends to see Batman at the IMAX.

The beach is a cleansing experience for me.  In a spiritual sense.. in a physical sense.  It is my zen.  And it was overdue.

I took all digital means and parked them.   I didn’t care that it was a bit overcast.

“You don’t have to go in you know..”

“Yes I do.”

I walked straight into the waves.  The water was cold but it felt… this is what I’ve been waiting for.

The tide was high and surfers were out.

“I need to get a surfboard and kill that phobia of mine.”

One of these days.  And I began to compile a list of things to buy.  Bodyboard.  Wetsuit.  Yoga mat.  Surfboard.  Bottoms that don’t get pulled off my bottom with each wave.  A few new tops. Rollerblades.  Etcetera.

The tide got worse and all the swimmers got out of the water.  I laid down on the blanket freezing.  Ah, beach.  Siesta.

And my roommate and I just laid and chat a bit.

“What else do we have to do after this?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?!”

“Well besides Batman and nom.  Yeah the whole day is open for whatever.  Doesn’t that feel great?”

The workaholic in me wanted to say no.  The workaholic in me did say no.  But as I laid there with the smell of the ocean and soft beach below me… nothing else mattered.  Zen.  Sweet zen.

“I really hope one of these days one of your boyfriends will bring you to the beach so they can see that smile of yours.. well and how cute you look in a swimsuit.”

I blushed a bit.

“Bah I need to work out a bit.”

We had Indian for lunch.  It was either that or sushi.  We were going to flip the douchebag business card for the decision again.  After days at the beach, I crave seafood.  It’s part of the whole experience.

We arrived at the Imax in the promenade shortly after a few more texts with the dark horse.  I have a date in Portland with a hooker.  I’ll save a bit and visit as soon as I can.

The birthday girl and her boyfriend both were hungover.  The party last night had gone on for a few hours after we’d left.  (Oh, I have tenative plans with the dj this week.)

I could go on and on about the movie itself.  I grew up on it.  But what hit me the most about it was that this was the first Batman movie I had not seen with my dad.  The whole time I watched it, I thought of my dad… some of the quotes that he taught life lessons were from this imaginary hero.

A few months ago I had a conversation with a friend about the difference between Batman and Superman.  Superman was a this golden boy who had the good life all handed to him.  Batman, while also having a bit of a silver spoon, was more defined.  He’s a man of many layers.. of a dark past and even darker present.  Superman was not a super man.  Batman however, was.  In the literal and figurative sense.. because he made himself out to be.

I think it’s probably for these reasons that my dad- who to this day still buys comic books once a week, favored Batman and Spiderman over the overhyped blue caped god.  In essence, he wanted to emulate him.

For once, I was not the ten year old girl with pigtails in that theatre.  Sure I had pigtails on.. I was at the beach earlier.  But part of me was amiss.

My dad… his legacy.

And I held back some tears.

I knew my friends would understand if they knew, but I needed those moments…

I swallowed some air and held onto my phone.

This is a whole new life that’s starting.  It’s… and… and… I just wish he would approve of it.

I called when the movie was over to try to talk to him.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring… answering machine.

Maybe my dad is the real imaginary hero of the story after all.  Silly me in believing otherwise.  I wish he would grow up and see that his daughter is a grown woman who is going to sometimes do things he may not agree with, but that make her very happy.

And now, if you will excuse me, I have to dig out a Batman launcher out of this box of Cocoa Puffs and then maybe hit the Pac Man machine down the street…