A week without you: the Wildcard/ A girl. A bar. A story.

“You should forget about him.  He’s too much drama. ” they all told me.

And given what happened earlier in the week, perhaps they’re partially right.  He has had far too much bearing on my life.  He’s hurt me in ways I recall my marriage did.  I fell into that pattern yet again.  He’d been swearing at me… telling me that I “deserved it.”  He’d made me feel guilty about not being that perfect girl, while he called me his dream girl.

Asking for someone’s time and to give them a schedule for when they do have it shouldn’t be that hard.  Not when you proclaim to love someone.  Not when you say that you miss them terribly and are working hard for that picket fence for them.

“You will meet someone else.”

“No I won’t.”

“You will meet someone else when you least expect it…”

“Yeah right.  I’m not even going to look anymore.  I’m over it.”

“You will meet someone else when you’re not looking…”

Enter the hardest Yelp review I’ve written thusfar… a tale of more than a bar but of a change of pace.  It wasn’t something I ever expected.  It wasn’t something than what I’m used to.  It was completely different.  And for those moments, it was what it should be… what I’m told I really do deserve- someone without drama who genuinely enjoyed the time we had together.

Despite the outcome of the wildcard, as I really did see it as an inevitable closing due to certain life differences, it was something that I’m really glad I had the experience of.  It is, after all, about the experiences more than the destination and the people you share the moments with along the way.

Perhaps one of these days it will work out.  The positive nature of this wildcard though gives me a bit more hope.  I tend to go for a certain type of guy.  A certain look.  A certain collection of qualities and traits.  He was little of those.   He was something entirely different.

He knew about video games and computers but wasn’t engrossed in them.  He looks a bit like a frat boy (not my type at all.)  He could go for hours talking about cars.  He has a bachelors in psychology. He had little money and even less ambition.  He was comfortable about where he was, and consistently positive.

While he may have been conventionally “normal” attractive, he was nothing like I’d expected, but yet everything I’d expected.  I’ve been accepting far too little than what I am capable of.  I deserve the full package- the ambitious, intelligent, wildly attractive, humorous, genuine man that girls fawn over, but only think exists in dreams.  And while that’s currently where that man will probably be for awhile, I know now that regardless if you are there or not, or anyone… it’s all going to be ok.

A girl. A bar. A story…

Taken from a yelp review I wrote about my favorite bar and this incredible weekend:

Anyone that knows me knows when I say I’m at “my bar” this is where to find me.  This is hands down my favorite hangout spot- weather I just want a drink and catching up with a couple of guy friends for our weekly relaxer or if its prowler night and want to get shitfaced for really cheap.

Once upon a time a girl went here to just let her hair down and relax and met…
there’s awesome people at this bar.  The crowd is your normal set of characters, but there’s a few wildcards too.  It’s not somewhere where I would say is where you should go if you’re after the best/hottest catches- as there are quite a bit of cougars and some hipsters that seemed a bit out of place…
this is not where I would ever expect to meet a guy.
But, well you never know.

This place has a lot more to it than cheap, well mixed drinks.

There’s a photobooth in the back that is perfect for sneaking some make out time, a fireplace to cuddle up and talk… and of course, a dance floor, and kareoke.

This is where my best friends birthday party was.  This is where we brought friends who were in town from E3.  This is where I’ll buy my kid brother his first drink.

It’s a touch of what’s real in Los Angeles.  It’s my little version of “Cheers.”
Where everyone worth a damn already knows your name… especially *you.*

/end soapbox

Bettie.. who?

Shes not telling

She's not telling

Most of my family still lives back home in Illinois.   There seems to be a huge barrier between me and a vast majority of them.  I’d been plotting my escape for as long as I can remember.

I always knew I was different.

A conversation with my mother about weekend plans bid many questions… and resounding answers.

I’m beginning to wonder if I was adopted.

I grew up in Suburbia Illinois in 2 small towns located in the tri-county area of Chicago.  You may remember them from such highlights in movies as: two crazy convicts fleeing from Joliet Prison and a marching band (that was my high school) in some 80’s cult classic about some kid who ditched class and ended up on a parade float.

I wasn’t that far from culture.  In the multiple cities I’ve lived in, I still to this day do not believe there is anything comparable to Chicago.  I have to say that though.  I’m bound by my Italian blood to be tied to a town that hosts Capone’s ghost, real pizza, and the most amazing hot dogs.

I was raised on comic books and holiday season overdosings of the Nutcracker and Gone With the Wind.

So how the hell this even happened is mind boggling to me.  But it went something like this:

Mom: So what are your plans for this weekend?

Me: Well there’s a gallery show that’s closing in Hollywood that I think I’m going to.

Mom: Oh really?  What’s the show on?

Me: It’s a tribute to Bettie Page.  All the pieces are inspired by her in some form or another.

Mom: Bettie who?

My jaw dropped.  Two thousand miles away and I think she could hear the thud.

Mom: What?

Me: Mom do you seriously not know who Bettie Page is?

Mom: No I don’t.  Who is she?

Me: She’s a pioneer in womens sexual revolution.  She was a famous pinup model.

Mom: What’s a pinup model?

I nearly dropped the phone.  I was so flabbergasted with her lack of knowledge on the subject I started to stammer.  How the hell do you explain what a pinup model is to your mother?  How the hell do you subtley touch on the fact that your daughter is a bit of a deviant without having to hear that “You really need therapy” bit again?

Mom: I don’t know what happened with you.  I slept with two people and married both of them.

Yeah, mom well… no wonder.

How the hell did my mother miss out on the tale of one of the most iconic and pivotal women in sexual history?

Me: Mom, she was… very ahead of her time.  The things she did back in those days were not “allowed.”  She was a brave woman who faced much adversity for being confident in her sexuality.  This didn’t make her a bad person however.  In her later years, she devoted herself to church…

Mom: I still don’t get it.

Me: Well the stuff she did was racey.  It was…

[brief pause]

…just google it.

[crickets]

Mom: Well the weather is wonderful here…

I wonder if she’s seen the image above.  I’ll watch my inbox for the self help book in the mail I suppose.

An ode to Super men

The man of steel celebrates a birthday today, and I must say he doesn’t look too shabby for a senior citizen.  Do you remember that issue?

I was a bit shocked to hear that my grandfather didn’t either.  But given that he was only 2 when it made its first debut, I think he can have a pass.

Comic books weren’t entirely foreign then, but I don’t think anyone knew just how popular they would become when this issue graced the stands that fateful day- June 1st, 1938.

Some of you may remember seeing this cover recently.  In Febuary the book was auctioned off online in a sale that gained the eyes of not only comic collectors, but the press and the world of entertainment alike.

Action Comics #1 is the world’s most valuable comic book, and it almost never happened. The creation American writer Jerry Siegel and Canadian artist Joe Shuster, the story was rejected numerous times before it was finally published in June 1938.

It’s phenomenal how the comic culture has boomed since then.  Superman is still going strong despite passing over to the dark side back in 1992.  This was the story arch that I really remembered most, as it hit shelves at the real start in my rise to diving into the comic book world.

In honor of the series, and a spin to the day, I want to take the time and tribute this piece to the Super Men that have been in my life.

What makes a Super man?

  • A super man shows his superiority with their genuine care for humanity and for a person’s self worth.

Men are supposed to be strong individuals.  They are the ones that will build you up inwardly through encouragement, constructive criticism and devotion.  There does not have to be a romantic connection- I’ve gotten this from a number of super men in my life that I haven’t dated.

These are the men that take time to help give back to their communities in any way they possibly can- whether something small by donating items to goodwill to helping with a food kitchen to participation in charity events and fundraisers.

Real men wear capes

Real men wear capes

  • Super men realize when something is important to you, and go out of their way to help you.

They drive to a different city 2 hrs out of the way to get you to bring you somewhere 30 minutes from you.  They loan you cars when you need something to find a job.  They keep an ear to the ground for leads and pass along work when they know someone needs it more.  They listen when you have to vent.

They help you figure out the solutions.  They empower you to reach further into yourself.  While a good guy will help you write that letter, the super man will help you write it yourself.

  • Super men are passionate about their dreams and ambitions.

No matter how old they are, they never lose sight of the things that mean the world to them.  From stories like my grandfather’s love for flying his airplane despite crashing it and nearly dying, to pursuing that writing career in an industry that they’ve put so much time into but gotten little in return.

a day, a love, Ill never forget

a day, a love, I'll never forget

  • Super men are there for their families and friends.

They bring smiles to kids.  They have a never grow up mentality, but the maturity to manage high end jobs with ease.  They realize how important it is to have fun and be responsible at the same time.  They know how much little things like making sure you have birthday presents for your sons when you couldn’t otherwise afford it mean to everyone.

They’re there for you through the thick and thin.  They’re there when the bad things happen.  They’re there for you in the good.

They’re the ones that will be there for you, without question, at a moments notice when you call to tell them your car broke down in the rain, or that you ran out of gas on the way to a party. They’re the ones who push the envelope to do everything they can to support an entire household of friends to make ends meet because they know they have no where else to go.

  • Super men make you smile buy merely existing.

They light up the room with their charisma.  They’re so brilliant in aura you tend to think its a mirage.  They are often the heart breakers.  They’re the ones you really need to watch out for.

Super men exist both in fairy tales and reality.   They’re not as uncommon as you’d think if you know where to look.  Every man is capable of being one.  Not all men are born to do this job.  It’s not an easy one.

Here’s an ode to all the super men I have in my my life.  You have no idea how much I’m thankful for you.