Ghosts.

It’s that time of year again.  Nearly summer and with it, the cemetery movie lineup.

The grip messaged me with a very special one coming up in June.  Time flies.  It seems like only yesterday I was unpacking a Uhaul and moving in here…  what I didn’t know would be my first summer with him.  A summer of adventure, passion, love and the excitement of a city I call “a cesspool of fun.”

The very notion of the show is enough to have me a bit giddy.  I have a list of 100 things I want to do here in LA.  It’s one that I didn’t do last summer.  This show in particular is something magical as well.  It has my most favorite actor of all time- the illustrious miss Audrey Hepburn.

With everything going on here- my own battle inside. It sent me back down memory lane.

What is it to fall in love with a ghost?

Time machine: Date 2… Spooky date.

The sun shined so brightly down on the graveyard we were at.  His name was Jack Skelington… or at least an alias was.  Back then, he radiated this presence.  He wanted to be with me so badly.  He’d bend over backwards to do it.

Still… despite our recent vow to work on things, there is so much more.  A ghost of my past has returned into the picture- of which shall remain nameless.  And although I am currently unsure why he popped up, it still makes me wonder nonetheless.  Another story.  Another time.  But not at this time.  Who knows if at any other time.

A passport.  Pending.  My heart can’t afford it any more than my pocketbook can.

“Do you truly love me?”  I asked the grip.

“More than you’ll ever realize.” he said.

In my mind, I have these staticy crackled memories on a drive-in movie screen.  Has he really become the “ghost” of a man I once loved?  Can a photograph really capture the spirit and foreshadow the future?  You sometimes waver into the real world and show signs you’re still there.  Others?  You’re so distant- as if you exist somewhere else far far from anything.

Many a thought hath creeped into my idle brain in the interim.  Months of lingering emotions not yet unleashed into the world.

Most friends tell me that it’s finished.  He keeps saying otherwise.  My heart and my brain just don’t know where to go from here.  I’m in love with this ghost.  And while we work on things, that’s what it feels like he is.

“It seems like you’re miles apart physically but together emotionally.” a someone said.

Oh you have no idea m’dear.  Just… no idea.

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