In the wake of your ghost

Once upon a time you loved me
but never gave me what i really wanted from you but in pieces
and it made me fall to pieces
because each day you told me no, i took it as a hint.
that you didnt want me.
that you didnt want this

i saw the silver linining.
cut through exteriors of a home
it didnt have to be in the best area
i cared not the details
except that you were there
and so was lolita.

i doubt you would even care.

that all this feeling..
i thought..
well why would he even care
this isnt what he wants.
im not what he wants.
so why make him stay?

and then the day came.
i broke into a million pieces
for a moment i felt colorful & ___
but then i came through it
and remembered just how small i was.
how small i always would be.

i’m going to the ocean at lunch today.
somehow i doubt that its going to help with the pain.
two broken souls but naught a love that would want to mend it… you.

and my heart beckons and breaks.
my hand reaches for you to grab
and i fall back
into the abyss
because youre not there to catch me
for the first time.
for the last time.
for one more try.

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