I have a lot of notebooks. There’s something about hand written letters and prose that’s.. it’s an artful experience in the process itself. Expression. The feel of a pen. The paper underneath your palm. The motions of scrawling away.. fast.. slow.. constant.. etcetera.
While working away at a project this weekend, I found a few of them. I will be posting more here and there periodically as I find them.
It’s interesting to explore and see how much things have changed.. and yet somehow also remained the same in many ways- as you will notice as I post. The only way a person will fully understand themselves is if they recognize where they failed and do something to correct their lifestyle.
Here are some excerpts from a journal that I started while in San Diego- when I was dating a local artist/photographer:
“Not Just Yet”
Today I went out with Aaron for a bit. I bought him a Morrissey cd- his favorite it turned out. How would I know that? It was a mere guess? Maybe my subconscious was talking to me.
Pappa and I had a major ruckus. We’re going to go our separate ways again.. I have lost most all respect for him.
Aaron and I just talked…he said “If I were to get into an exclusive short term or long relationship, I know it would be with you.. You’re the one I want to be with in the end.”
But alas! Not yet…
All I’ve ever wanted was for someone to hold me and tell me “everything is going to be alright.”
“The Day After”
Here it is the day after my romp with my beloved Aaron… how right I was in my realization. Yes.. all men have their cycles. His is 5 days. Well I don’t know. I could be wrong.
I got to his apartment yesterday to take care of my ill stricken gent. We visited a friend of his, Kenneth, came by and we became sociable. The two gentleman conversed about their art forms. I was privileged enough to be able to add my commentary.
We went on a photo shoot instead of print week. I was dressed all Brit… Aaron surprised me by pulling out his camera.. him having said “Did I tell you how lovely you look today?” earlier at a Vietnamese doughnut and coffee shop.
He has a way of making me blush.
Walking the streets downtown on the way to print week he took photos. He made me laugh.
We stopped at this cozy little spot called “Bassam’s Cafe.”