Damnit, just when you rave that something is free of complications, it ends up getting complicated. How difficult is it to possibly have a non relationship? I mean, seriously.
I knew something was up this week with the local guy. We originally had plans Sunday- they got pushed to Tuesday. Tuesday came around and we went out like normal. But it wasn’t normal. Something was off.
He said that work was getting to him and apologized. Sometimes I wish that I wasn’t so perceptive. For the first time, the conversation seemed almost pulled. There were awkward silences. Going out seemed more of a formality than the treat it had been previously.
Revival of any semblance of a spark seemed nonexistent. We walked back to the car after dinner… the man that had in past outings couldn’t keep his hands off me was now walking in the friends position. He opened the car door. I began to wonder what the hell happened to make this a 180.
He brought me home and apologized again. He kissed me softly goodbye. I guess I should have saw it coming. When he told me that he’d talk to me soon, I didn’t expect to hear from him.
Days passed. I was busy as always. Nothing but silence. I tried to pencil him in between plans. Two extremely social people are generally hard to book an appointment with. I honestly abhor making plans for a date far in advance… I mean, I thought that’s the motivation for dating someone local.
What it was, was not supposed to be anything that wasn’t shallow. What it was supposed to be was so simplistic really. No rules. No boundaries. No possessive he said she said crap. No commitment. It just was about having fun.
Truth be known, I had no intention of going the extra distance with this guy. If it happened, it happened. But as much fun as he was to hang out with, he was not what I ultimately wanted to be tied down to… or even be tied down by. It was time filler.
Perhaps I gave the wrong signal. Is it possible to not be shallow enough? I mean the guy, by all accounts is a bit too Hollywood for my tastes. It’s nothing personal, and by all accounts parting ways was inevitable.
I wrote him an email. I mentioned nothing about him and I- just asked him about something he insisted on helping me with. I didn’t care to talk to him again, let alone be friends with him. He didn’t do anything wrong persay. I just was getting bored.
He wants to still be friends. I have become so devoid of giving a fuck, I really…
Summation: Why are the good projects not local? Seriously. Taking applications.