When situations become complex, I’m always the one expected to take the higher road. I never get to be an asshole “just because.” It’s this horrible thing I have called a conscious. (Anyone want to buy it)
This also what I would like to call “doormat syndrome.” One doesn’t have to be a perfect person by any means to get suckered into this title. Acknowledgment is halfway out of recovery though.
It doesn’t mean that you are not a good person by not doing what everyone tells you, or rather pressures you into, is the “right” thing. It makes you human and less of a doormat.
Nice guys finish last for a reason. They fall into the same catagory- except a lot of times also get the benefit of being friend shelved. And frankly I’d rather get laid every once in awhile like all the rest of the douchebags I know if I were them.
In my experience, I do agree that taking this route has its benefits. However consistently taking that route leads to this syndrome. And it sucks. You feel trapped into being a nice person.. though your decision, though not their version of the “right thing” may be better for you personally.
I have gone against my own pride and done things specifically because they’re the right thing to do… and a majority of the time, as far as in regards to people complications, it’s bullshit. There’s other ways to deal with a situation in my opinion.
I’ve found the best thing to do a lot of times, especially where dating is concerned, is to simply leave things alone. If you don’t associate with the issue or people, generally things resolve themselves on their own. Don’t want to deal with someone at a party? How about you don’t talk to them or make a scene. See someone you used to date somewhere? How about if you absolutely can’t avoid it, just have pleasant eye contact be your acknowledgment of their presence.
Avoiding a possibly dramatic confrontation does not have to be impolite. To some degree, I think it’s actually more polite.
Sure you can call this an unhealthy way of dealing with it. But what really gets solved by a confrontation? And more so, if you don’t want further complications, why bother adding more.
Out of sight. Out of mind.
Because doing the right thing may be all great and dandy sometimes… but there’s a time and place where doing the right thing for you needs to happen.
This is not 1957. You don’t have to always put on a fake facade like everything is just peachy keen. Be real. Be genuine. But whatever you do, do it for you. Part of being strong is knowing when to be selfish and not just selfless- lest you get walked all over constantly. Ah the beauty of free will right?)